People are more interested in promoting the neighborhood than they were.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing People are more interested in promoting the neighborhood than they were.

  • TomGoh
    University: Central South University
    Nationality: China
    March 18, 2021 at 7:41 am

    People are more interested in promoting the neighborhood than they were.

    Modern society has witnessed such a scene rather frequently that cyber forums are getting more and more prosperity. Hence, some in general, contend that people nowadays care more about the communities than before. However, it sounds more creditable to me that folks tend to unravel the neighborhood.

    Obviously, social networks take a hand in people’s social activities and gradually become one of the most significant methods that people communicate with each other. And what social networks have done to communities is to tear communities apart, let alone uniting the whole world, by attract cellphone users to watch short videos and flakes of articles during any pieces of time solely. Thus, time used to communicate with each other is now widely eliminated. As a result, neighborhoods have declined and social bonds between folks diminished without enough communication.

    Admittingly, cyber groups, especially those on Reddit or some other forums, connect people around the world to exchange viewpoints about one particular thing. It seems that the connection among the neighborhood which was lost in reality now resurrects in another form in the cyber world. And the flourish of social networks business appears to convince all people that the epoch of cyber communities is around the corner.

    But what hardly surprises folks is that cyber groups could not take the place of communities and neighborhoods. Since people can count on forum members from Japan to care for them when they get a stomachache in the United States while they could probably ask their neighbors for help. Cyber communities could not tie the bond between people online without any offline actions. One of my best friends, Jim, got to know his girlfriend during an offline party of an online game named Genshin Impact. They used to chat in a group chat but had never thought that they could be together since only chatting online failed to break the barrels and obstacles between strangers.

    Obviously, all the evidence supports a sound conclusion that people nowadays fail to engage in promoting the neighborhood and neighborhood are becoming more and more fragmented.

    March 20, 2021 at 6:06 pm

    Score: 57.5


    1. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. About 25% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision ).

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