People can solve important problems by themselves or by their families; thus, it is almost not necessary to refer to the government.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing People can solve important problems by themselves or by their families; thus, it is almost not necessary to refer to the government.

  • YouJ
    University: Lanzhou University
    Nationality: China
    December 15, 2019 at 1:25 pm

    TOEFL Writing Topic: People can solve important problems by themselves or with the help from their family members so there’s no need for the government to help them.

    When it comes to whether individuals need help from the government as they increasingly have the ability to handle the assorted problems in their lives. Opinions vary depending on various personal backgrounds and different educational backgrounds. A large number of people hold that individuals can tackle crucial things by themselves recently before the government is involved in. However, as far as I am concerned, even though people can deal with many significant things by themselves, they cannot address all key things independently. My perspective will be shown in the following paragraphs.

    Admittedly, everyone specializes in some specific tasks which train them to achieve some special abilities to cope with specific problems. For example, the surgeon can do operations to save lives and supreme court justices can sentence criminals and protect citizens from evil as well as math teachers can impart math concepts and skills to students and support them to obtain a decent grade. However, as we all know, there are no generalists in the world. As for those surgent doctors, they depend on their adept field skills and reasonable regulations from the government to keep the operation running and then save lives. For the supreme court justices, the government grants them the right to help the innocent after they are proficient in law clauses. Concerning the math teachers, they follow the rules from a school governed by the government when punishing a student without finishing homework. Therefore, everyone depends on the government directly or indirectly when they make a decision.

    In a nutshell, when taking into account all the factors above, we can reach the conclusion that although we are able to address many crucial things independently, we need help from the government to deal with exceptional situations.

    December 19, 2019 at 3:45 pm

    Score: 52.9

    Issues: More than 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.