People continue to commit crimes even after being punished for it. Why do you think this happens? How can crime be stopped?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing People continue to commit crimes even after being punished for it. Why do you think this happens? How can crime be stopped?

  • Raychou21
    University: 中国传媒大学
    Nationality: 中国
    January 29, 2021 at 10:03 am

    People continue to commit crimes even after being punished for it. Why do you think this happens? How can crime be stopped?

    It is true that many offenders commit crime again after serving the punishment. This is mainly because of the inadequate punishment and difficulty to readapt the new society as they released. There are a number of solutions which should be taken to deal with this phenomenon.

    There are two main reasons why the criminals break the law again. Firstly, the punishment of some illegal acts may be not heavy rather than the benefits gained from offences, so that the people disobey the law again. for example, the criminals who abducted women and kids just be punished to stay in cell for several years, but the offend behaviors made them achieve money so easy. Another reason why these criminals violate the law is that they can’t adapt the society again. After several years of imprison, they have lost confidence and life skills, so that can’t search an employment to support their life. As a result, many of them struggle financially which leads them back to crime, regardless of the consequences.

    In my view, two effective solutions of the problem should be taken. One way to tackle this is to make the new law of punishing, which will be equal to the benefits of the illegal act, and enhance the monitoring and supervision. By doing this, the heavy punishments will prevent people to violate the law again. Another method of helping the criminals to adapt the new social environment is to give them more chances to learn useful skills and achieve more concerns from their family and the local community. This solution would hopefully build their self-esteem and benefit their physical and mental health.

    In conclusion, we should deal with this problem from these two aspects which come from the government policy and social assistance. If the problem be solved, I believe our society would be safer and more harmonious.

    January 29, 2021 at 8:46 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 35% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them.
    2. About 30% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. 

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    January 29, 2021 at 8:47 pm

    Add my WeChat account and remind me of sending you screenshot reviews.

    Raychou21
    University: 中国传媒大学
    Nationality: 中国
    January 30, 2021 at 1:06 am

    How to add u Wechat teacher?

    February 1, 2021 at 7:51 pm

    Please scan the code on the top left of this website. Thanks!