People learn things better from those at their own level – such as fellow students or coworkers – than from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing People learn things better from those at their own level – such as fellow students or coworkers – than from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors.

  • LRC NJUPT
    University: NJUPT
    Nationality: China
    May 13, 2020 at 7:52 am

    People learn things better from those at their own level – such as fellow students or coworkers – than from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors.

    The majority of people tend to have a desirable attitude towards studying, as the development of society and economic, tremendous number of employment opportunities have been generated. People who wants to get these opportunities should keep learning from others. Some people hold the view that people learn from those at a high level, such as teachers or supervisors could learn things better since teachers have more experience in their academic field and have more capability. However, I oppose this view, I believe that people learn things better at their own level, such as fellow students or co-workers.

    Firstly, learning from those at same level could give people peer pressure, therefore inspiring people to learn and make more efforts. For example, when I was young, I lack of studying desire and never get good grades, So, in order to inspire me, my parents asked my teacher arranged an industrious student sit beside me. When I realized the gap between me and my deskmate, I fundamentally changed my mind. I decided to study hard and learn his studying method. Fortunately, at the end of semester I got a great improvement through learning from my deskmate.

    Secondly, people at same level could communicate and interact with each other more effectively because they have more same language. Thus they could learn from each other more efficiently. Learning from peers have the inherent advantages of enabling students to learn in a relatively relaxed environment. Students tend to find learning from teachers especially old teachers monotonous and unmotivating, therefore their effectiveness will decrease, the student who learning in a more relaxed environment will learn better.

    Admittedly, learning from people at high level have some advantages, teachers or supervisors always have more academic or social experiences. These valuable experience can only be learned from teacher. Students can hardly solve a difficult problem without teacher’s help. Teachers also can give students a different prospective which can fulfill student’s potential. However, I prefer to learn from people at same level, which is a better way.

    In short, learning from people at same level is a rather wise decision.

    May 15, 2020 at 11:36 pm

    Score: 55.9

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. Many sentences are confusing since clauses, or sentences, are logically disconnected.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.