Do you think that young people should take several different kinds of job before they take a career in a long term?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Do you think that young people should take several different kinds of job before they take a career in a long term?

  • Ricardo
    University: NUAA
    Nationality: China
    September 16, 2019 at 2:12 pm

    TOEFL Writing Topic: People should take several different kinds of jobs before they take a career in a long term.

    Firstly, trying different kinds of jobs in advance could help people find the job they are really interested in which is extremely vital for their further promotion. Because of the interest, people may be willing to pay more effort in studying knowledge related to his work spontaneously. On the contrary, if people find their job tedious, it would even be hard for them go to work on time. With more knowledge acceleration, people have a better grip on their job and have better chance of getting promoted. That will benefit not only themselves but also their family. As people have experienced many sorts of jobs, they know about the jobs better which contribute to making the best decision. Take my brother as an example, he have done so many different jobs ranging from a cook to a programmer. After experiencing so many jobs, he finally found that programming is what he’s keen on. When he do other work, he could not stay focus and easily fell asleep, only programming and debugging can raise his interest and he could stay up late debugging a program. Finally, the manager saw his enthusiasm and potential in programming and promoted him. So he definitely find a job that is most suitable for him after trying so many others.

    In addition to interest, the frequently changing working condition is also a crucial element when choosing a job. As we all know that we live in a era that everything is changing rapidly than before, which means the industry we now work for can degenerate in the next month and we may face a risk of losing jobs. But as a person who never work in that industry, it would be hard for him to know exactly how the industry is recently, whether it is degenerating or not. Therefore, people should dive in different fields to probe for information about every industry and then come up with a conclusion which industry has the best prospect. For example, we all now that automatic driving is developing rapidly and that may be a bad news for those truck drivers for they risk being replaced by automatic driving. So at this time, if one have never try other job and just choose driving as his life long career, he may not have a bright future due to the newly-developed technology.

    September 18, 2019 at 2:01 am

    Score: Ungraded

    You need to resolve these issues:

    1. Reduce your essay to 280-320 words;
    2. Shorten most sentences exceeding 20 words.
    3. Restrict each paragraph within 80 words.

    I will send you screenshots illustrating errors and issues concerning your essay. Revise it and re-submit your revised essay.

    Regards,

    Lin Qiu