People still value artists in the age of advanced science and technology. Why do you think this is? Are arts as important as science and technology?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing People still value artists in the age of advanced science and technology. Why do you think this is? Are arts as important as science and technology?

  • Janemon
    University: scc
    Nationality: Chinese
    May 13, 2020 at 8:25 am

    People still value artists in the age of advanced science and technology. Why do you think this is? Are arts as important as science and technology?

    An interesting phenomenon is that there always exists an artist being thought as one of the greatest individuals in the world whatever the era is, even now where science and technology flourish rapidly. And since the fact that secrets of artists still mattering currently is doubtful, followings are my point of view.

    From my perspective, when it comes to the contribution of artists, which can be easy to find out is that they have documented different culture of various folks in different centuries. As their masterpieces are durable in a long term, it becomes feasible for folks to tell ancestors’ life thousands and millions years ago by analysis of these work.And I hold a firm belief that it enables descendants to absorb ancestors’ brilliant cleverness and commemorate them. Furthermore, artists are always those who come up with incredible inspiration, and these ideas may lead us to a better life.

    So now it comes to another issue that whether arts are as essential as science and technology or not. As far as I’m concerned, as much as science and technology did altered our life in quite a few aspects, however, arts have done the same as they did. That’s for the reason that science and technology make our life more convenient in the appliance part, while arts provide us with a feast on the mental level. And therefore as the saying goes,”the main difference between humankind and beasts is the civilization”. Based on this, it can be taken for granted that the appearance of civilization is mainly due to arts.

    In a nutshell, despite the fact that so far we have stepped in the age of advanced science and technology, the art is and will still be the key to further developments.

    May 14, 2020 at 8:39 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Janemon
    University: scc
    Nationality: Chinese
    May 15, 2020 at 10:29 am

    An interesting phenomenon is that there always exist a group of artists regarded as the most illustrious individuals globally. Moreover, this matter of fact never shifted whatever the era is, even now where science and technology flourish rapidly. As a result, the topic whether artists are still leading lights currently is controversial. And I argue that under no circumstances, should art be ignored by folks.

    As far as contributions of artists are concerned, it can be easy to find out that they have documented different cultures of various folks in several centuries. Since their masterpieces are so durable, it becomes feasible for descendants to tell their ancestors’ life centuries ago. And I hold a firm belief that analysis of masterworks enables posterity to absorb ancestors’ wisdom and commemorate them. Furthermore, artists are always those who come up with incredible inspiration, which may lead us to a better life.

    So now it comes to another issue that whether arts are as essential as science and technology or not. From my own perspective, as much as science and technology did altered our life in history, art has done the same. That’s for the reason that science and technology make our life more convenient in the appliance part. And meanwhile, art also provides us with a feast on the mental level. As the saying goes,”The main difference between humankind and beasts is civilization.” Based on this, we can take it for granted that the appearance of our civilization is due to art.

    Generally speaking, though we have entered a brand-new information century, art will continually be the key to further developments.

    May 15, 2020 at 10:21 pm

    Score: 56.3

    An interesting phenomenon is that there There always exists a group of artists regarded as the most illustrious individuals globally. [Moreover, this matter of fact never shifted whatever the era is, even now where science and technology flourish rapidly] [ confusing ]. As a result, the topic whether artists are still (leading lights currently)[ unclear ] is controversial.[ lack logical connection from the prior sentence. ] And [ punctuation error concerning coordinating word ]I argue that under no circumstances, should art be ignored by folks.

    As far as [ article error ]contributions of artists are concerned, it[unclear pronoun  ] can be easy to find out that they[unclear pronoun  ] have documented different cultures of various folks in several centuries[ unclear ]. Since their [ unclear pronoun ]masterpieces are so[wrong word/ so… that  ] durable, it[unclear pronoun  ] becomes feasible for [ article error ]descendants to tell their ancestors’ life centuries ago. And[punctuation error/wrong coordinating word  ] I hold a firm belief that (analysis of)[ word form error ] masterworks enables posterity to absorb ancestors’ wisdom and commemorate them. Furthermore, artists are always[ absolute statement ] those who come up with incredible inspiration, which may lead us to a better life.

    So now it comes to another issue that whether arts are as essential as science and technology or not. From my own perspective, as much as science and technology did altered [tense error  ]our life in history, art [ inconsistent/arts-art ]has done the same. (That’s for the reason that)[redundant  ] science and technology make our life more convenient (in the appliance part)[ unclear ]. And[coordinating word error  ] meanwhile, art also provides us with a feast on the mental level. As the saying goes,”The[word form error  ] main difference between humankind and beasts is civilization.” (Based on this, we can take it for granted that the appearance of our civilization is due to art).[ unclear ]

    Generally speaking, though we have entered a brand-new information century, art will continually be the key to further developments.