People think that old buildings should be knocked down and give way to modern buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing People think that old buildings should be knocked down and give way to modern buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  • Jade
    University: Beijing Sport University
    Nationality: China
    November 22, 2019 at 6:15 am

    People think that old buildings should be knocked down and give way to modern buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    Whether to demolish the old architecture built centuries ago or keep them intact has become a pressing problem nowadays. I consider it necessary to build new buildings with modern technology.

    It seems plausible that knocking down the old constructions usually coupled with cultural and historical destructions. Since there are profound knowledge and skills behind the designs and structure of buildings surviving a long period of time. Architects, scientists, historians and even archaeologists can draw on the layout and setting inside those buildings for inspiration and thus exert their potential to make contribution to arts and historical heritage.

    However, human beings are now facing a dire problem—the ever-climbing population. Clearly, those obsolete architecture cannot tailor people’s demands for living because of their size. For example, bungalows and old cottages which are low-rise no taller than 7 stories cannot fill a large number of people in. In this case, residents might run the risk of living in slums or homeless. By comparison, the skyscrapers and high-rise apartments can contain more people with limited space.

    In my view, modern building designed to satisfy the needs of all kinds of family might be more suitable for dwellers to live. It is true that many real estate agencies offer different types of houses ranging from economically applied residence to bachelor apartments. In contrast, the designs and functions of old houses are too monotonous to attract citizen’s eyes.

    In conclusion, even though old buildings take up an important position in cultural heritage, I still believe that they should give way to modern buildings since it is the trend of time and it enables residents to live in harmony.

    January 2, 2020 at 10:49 pm

    Score: 52.3

    Issues:

    1. More than 35% of the sentences exceed 20 words. You need to shorten/split them.
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.