Personal Statement for Biological Engineering PhD

  • Futr228
    University: Beijing Normal University
    Nationality: China
    December 15, 2020 at 4:19 am

    “Environmental factors usually have a large impact on the evolution of microbes and other creatures.”. This was the first sentence I used as I introduced my work in our group meeting this year, and it is also the most important topic that I would dream to keep working on for my postgraduate training. As I have been spending some time doing experiments about it, I strongly believe my ability for the relevant project studying in the evolution of antibiotic resistance offered in your school.

    The initial motivation to do research can be simple. It can date back to my childhood when I always listen to my father, an astronomer, telling interesting or astonishing stories about science research. But to eventually make my own choice to work for it as a career is a big decision. As I grow up and full myself with more and more knowledge, I found myself sometimes still difficult to understand the world around us. Some phenomenon that seems to be very simple still cannot be explained sufficiently, which reveals human’s lack of understanding of the nature world. Why can’t we deconstruct the factors that influence a natural ecosystem most? Why is it still so difficult to predict the future of even some simplest creature, like viruses? Isn’t there any way for human to prevent disaster like COVID-19? All the answers of these questions still remain uncertain today, and that is the most important reason why I am so keen on learning more and doing research. It is about curiosity, enthusiasm, ideality, and self-actualization.

    I love to study in different place, as I believe that abundant experience on studying in different places is both interesting and meaningful. And I do benefit a lot with my experience studying in Belgium when I was a child. This is also why I chose to go to study at XX University and got my Bachelor’s degree, far away from my home, YY. I was one of the best students here who showed both great interests in science and daily study. For example, as we have several undergraduate research projects funded locally in our class, I was the only one who finished it with a high rating and had become nominated in our major for local research prizes. It turned out that my supervisor and classmates approve me for my effort on doing science research. I was eventually recommended to continue study at ZZ University, and it was on the same summer training that I found myself so attracted by evolutionary science. It was a very impressive lecture by Professor Z, introducing some basic rules about the interaction between a system with Escherichia coli and its phase, as well as its potential to be considered in combined treatment with antibiotic. As a result, I have been studying in his group, and working in related project since then.

    I have been provided to work in different projects, while most of them are related with microbe. My first project was funded locally, and result showed a shift in microbial activity and community structure over time in biology soil crusts. As I mention before, I was then stimulated to study at ZZ University. I worked on a project attempting to find correlation between coexistence stability and biodiversity-biofunction relationship. The result turned to be confusing, but I improved my operation skills during the training. The most important project I am still join in today, is about antibiotic use and how we can deal with antibiotic resistance. We found the fitness cost significantly different under different temperature, suggesting that there are divergent competition results in different culture environment. To sum up, all the project I have taken part in equip me with various skills and knowledge, such as experimental experience, academic knowledge, analytical skills, and innate tenacity.

    Antibiotic and microbe resistance are problems that are of great urgence these days, as more and more pathogens are reported to be less sensitive to antibiotic than in the past. Thus, I believe our work is meaningful.

    All I was doing was improving myself and what I am looking for is a chance for further study. Thanks to my supervisor Professor Z and Professor B from M University, I learned about this project and feel very attracted. I still remember how excited I was when I found a letter sent by Professor Z asking whether I would like to further study with Professor B. As I have read several reports from him and his group, I totally treasure this opportunity to go abroad for further study. And when the day came when we had a short chat on video, I was even more impressed by how kind, patient, and professional Professor B is. It will be a great honor of my own if I would be offered the opportunity to study in his group.

    M University is apparently an outstanding institution where students can enhance their knowledge, improve their skills, and benefit the society. As I totally agree with its core value, it largely appeals to me, especially when I found the project so interesting and worth working for. I hope that I will be one of you soon, and in the near future, one of your proud.

    Last but not least, I want to thank everyone for reading my statement. I believe that my GPA and academic experience have helped to consolidate and support my ability and desire to study microbiology. I believe that I will be fully committed to successfully completing the related degree and relish in any opportunities which are given to help me achieve my aspirations in a researcher career.

     

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    December 15, 2020 at 3:24 pm

    Score: 57.2

    Issues:

    1. 55% of the sentences exceed 20 words, which makes your essay hard to read.
    2. Most of the 25% passive sentences significantly affect coherence.
    3. Lengthy paragraphs preclude readers from grasping the essay/paragraph structure.
    4. Lengthy essay that can be significantly shortened while retaining all necessary content.
    5. Lots of grammatical/punctuation errors.
    6. Redundant words/sentences.