Pressure More, Gain More?

  • berrypouty
    University: GXNU
    Nationality: China
    July 14, 2020 at 6:38 am

    As a senior student, my neighbor lived her life at school and cram school. She was too endeavor to study, it seems like she was never related for maybe an hour. It is a common glance at students’ lives. The question is: Is it a good thing that academic students have more pressure? Undoubtedly, the answer is no.

    Teenage students who have more academic pressure may more likely to face psychological problems. They would feel anxious when their family numbers asked them: “Have you got a soundly grade in your exam?” and get tired in the circle of school-home. Many students live in a depressing air, serious more, some students have the thought of suicide.

    It is not a good thing for students to have no study pressure, whether; academic pressure should be controlled to an appropriate level. A study shows that if there is no class, 75% of students tend to stay in a computer room for a whole day, which proved it is not a good idea to let teenagers take over their lifestyles. Academic pressure is a flag in their mind to lead them to do “the right things”, keep it to a middle degree so that students would be able to relax and can improve their studies.

    Necessary measures for kids must be taken to adjust their pressure level by themselves. Though teachers, school and Education Bureau are making determined efforts to decrease study hours for students, it is vital for students themselves to develop their awareness of study pressure. Even if there is a great deal of stress, kids would find a way to deal with it and no more afraid of it.

    Only when students are good at pushing academic stress at a proper level can they study well. The pressure of young people is like we are trying to blow Helium balloons. If we push a moderate amount of hydrogen into it, it will look nice and fly high; on the contrary, the balloon will burst and begin to fall.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    July 15, 2020 at 10:01 pm

     

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    2. Lots of grammatical errors.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    berrypouty
    University: GXNU
    Nationality: China
    July 16, 2020 at 2:26 pm

    As a senior student, my neighbor lived her life at school and cram school. She was study hard, and it seems like she was never relaxed for about an hour. It is a normal glance at students’ lives. The question is: Is it a good thing that academic students have more pressure? Undoubtedly, the answer is no.

    Teenage students who have more academic pressure may be more likely to face emotional problems. They would feel anxious when their family numbers asked them: “Have you got a sound grade in your exam?” and get tired in the circle of school-home. Many students live in a depressing air. Seriously more, some students have the thought of suicide.

    It is not a good thing for students to have no study pressure, whether academic pressure should be controlled to an appropriate level. A study shows that if there is no class, 75% of students tend to stay in a computer room for a whole day, which proves it is not a good idea to let teenagers take over their lifestyles. Academic pressure is a flag in their mind to lead them to do “the right things”. Keeping it to a middle degree so that students will be able to relax and can better their studies.

    Necessary measures for kids must be taken to adjust their pressure level by themselves. Though teachers, the school and Education Bureau are making determined efforts to decrease study hours for students, it is vital for students themselves to develop their awareness of study pressure. Even if there is a great deal of stress, kids would find a way to deal with it and would no longer be afraid of it.

    Only when students are good at lifting academic stress at a proper level can they study well. The pressure of young people is like we are trying to blow helium balloons. If we push a mild amount of hydrogen into it, it will look nice and fly high; on the contrary, the balloon will burst and begin to fall.