For future career success, is relating well to other people more important than studying hard at school?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing For future career success, is relating well to other people more important than studying hard at school?

  • russellcy
    University: DONGHUA university
    Nationality: china
    March 31, 2021 at 4:10 am

    For future career success, is relating well to other people more important than studying hard at school?

    Nowadays, vast amount people reckon striving in study is no longer as vital as getting along well with others. I can hardly approve such exposition as innumerous celebrities attain their triumph through astonishing endeavor. There are several reasons declared below.

    First of all, what one learned in school is fundamental preparation for latter career. It is a ritual, refer to linguistic study, learning word by word before speaking fluently. However, many people still believe the knowledge learned in school is useless in the soon coming future. How hilarious it sounds with the comparation with language case. Furthermore, looking back at the strikingly famous scientists, who had not merged themselves in study. For instance, Ms. Curie who won both physics and chemistry Nobel Prizes had studied hard since her young age. It is not normal as the girls in that epic are forced to be away from science. The unimaginable efforts she put on learning finally paid back.

    Secondly, relations can only help when one is qualified and capable. Many people believe that they can gain higher social fame and status through the relationship with the capable. Unfortunately, relationships are enclosed circuit over which a threshold is placed. There is picture widespread on the internet, depicting entrepreneurs sit around. All of them are graduated from prestigious university and worth trillions of dollars. None of them are incapable and get inside through relations. A real case happened on my friend who stay close with our teacher. At the end of college life, several work positions were recommended by the teacher to him. However, at last, he failed to find a job as his ability did not meet the requisition.

    To conclude, studying hard in school is far more important than relationships with other people. Knowledge and skills are the most crucial treasure in nowadays society. Getting along well with others can only be an implement to the terminal of being more successful.

    April 3, 2021 at 2:17 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 25% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );
    2. Lots of grammatical and word-choice problems.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.