• laurie
    University: SJTU
    Nationality: chinese
    March 23, 2020 at 2:10 pm

    Nowadays, a heated discussion is being held in the general public and in the mainstream media. How to comment on the Road and Belt strategy that is initiated by the Chinese government? From my point of view, this strategy is of great importance to the development of China and that of the whole word.

    There is no denying the fact that some problems may arise in the process of this initiative, particularly cultural bias, religious divide and ideologic conflict. And in some regions, there is a danger of terrorist attacks. These concerns do have an element of truth, but it must be pointed out that it is still significant to put forward this development scheme.

    To begin with, this strategy can be seen as a catalyst for economic development, not only for China but also for its neighboring countries. For example, some countries may have abundant oil and gas resources, but they lack the material for producing oil and gas pipelines. By providing steel and cement to these countries, China can pool various economic resources and adjust economic structure, hence bringing industrial upgrading. Meanwhile, other countries and regions can obtain many commercial opportunities and speed up local economic growth.

    Additionally, frequent people-to-people exchanges can strengthen the friendly ties between different regions. Chinese enterprises operating in foreign countries can understand the local culture, history and customs by hiring local people. Meanwhile, Chinese culture can be spread by advertisements and media coverage. Increased elite scholarships and executed poverty alleviation projects make it possible for students to come to china and to pursue their academic development. In this progress, people from different countries can work and study together, thereby prompting the culture communication.

    To conclude, under the influence of globalization and polarization, the Road and Belt strategy will play a leading role for China development in the future thirty years. What’s more, many countries and regions en route can also benefit from this strategy in economic and cultural aspects.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    March 24, 2020 at 2:57 pm

    Score: 45.8

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 25% of the sentences are passive. Convert them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.