Should parents give children allowance

  • sunshine h
    University: basis international school
    Nationality: china
    October 10, 2020 at 3:33 am

    The topic over whether parents should give their kids allowance has sparked off intense controversy among parents. I maintain that parents should allow their kids to have allowance in order to learn money and desire management earlier and develop children’s own interest.

    First, allowance to children can teach them managing their money wisely. For example, when I was young, my mom used to give me five dollars per week, letting me buy something I want. I could not buy all the thing I want in the same week, so I had to make decision. This is my earliest memory about money.I learn that we always have limited money and therefore we have to choose what we need the most. With some allowance, children are able to understand the concept of money and learn to control their desire for the later profits at a very early age, which would be very helpful when they later grow up and enter the society.

    Another benefit of allowance is that kids can use the money to develop some of their early interest which might direct their path in the future. For instance, my creative writing teacher usually spent his allowance in book shop when he was young. He further developed his interest in reading as he grew up, and eventually determined to major in literature in the college. Now he writes for several magazines frequently while at the same time teaches students writing. Finding an interest can really change your life and lead you to the career you are truly have passion for.

    In sum, parent should give their children allowance because it is beneficial for their future, since they are familiar with controlling their money, and it enables kids to develop their interest from the different objects, which could benefit their whole life.

    October 10, 2020 at 7:29 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 55% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.