Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors to take part in major competitions such as the Olympics Games or the football World Cup. Some people say that it would be better to spend this money encouraging children to take up sports from a young age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors to take part in major competitions such as the Olympics Games or the football World Cup. Some people say that it would be better to spend this money encouraging children to take up sports from a young age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  • Ronnie Yao
    University: Suzhou Univeristy of Sicence and Technology
    Nationality: China
    April 13, 2020 at 2:44 pm

    Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors to take part in major competitions such as the Olympics Games or the football World Cup. Some people say that it would be better to spend this money encouraging children to take up sports from a young age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    Regarding the demand for comprehensive national power and the succession of sports spirit, most countries raise lots of high-level athletes and take part in the big competition to win medals. While the way of raising such athletes is debatable, in which some people hold the opinion that the government should spend money on encouraging children to do sports. My personal view is quite positive about this idea.

    Lots of great talented people show their sports gift at a very young age, and we should focus on this period to raise them; because with age goes up, people will be less and less able on sports. Most high schools in America and Europe have their independent gyms and professional coaches. It provides students places to do sports, and coaches can teach and select talented teenagers too, perhaps, cultivate them to be the professional athletes. This example is the clue, and it can prove the idea. Only if we have a significant base of teenagers taking part in sports, our sports industry can be prosperous. Everyone knows that young age is the best wealth in sports.

    Besides age, focus on teenagers can also help the country be advanced in an extension of sports. With the popularity of sports among children, related industries are to develop following the trend. This kind of development can stimulate the economy in this sector, which is capable of offering more employment in sports. It is a benign circle which both helps the economy and sports.

    In all, encouraging teenagers to participate in sports is crucial both in competition and popularization. Only under such a circumstance, one country can be advanced and professional in sports.

    April 14, 2020 at 12:43 pm

    Score: 65.5

    Issues:

    1. More than 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Ronnie Yao
    University: Suzhou Univeristy of Sicence and Technology
    Nationality: China
    April 15, 2020 at 5:03 am

    Most countries tend to raise high-level athletes and take part in the big competitions because of the demand for international competition consciousness , besides, the succession of sports spirit. While the way of building such athletes is debatable. In such a debate, some people hold the opinion that the government should spend money on encouraging children to do sports, and my personal view is quite positive about this idea.

    Lots of great talented people show their sports gift at a very young age. We should focus on this period to raise them because time is limited. With ages going up, people will be less and less able on sports. Many American and European high schools have their independent gyms and professional coaches. It provides students the place to do sports. Coaches can teach and select talented teenagers and cultivate them. This example is the clue, and it can prove the idea. Our sports industry can be prosperous only if we have a large base of teenagers. Everyone knows that young age is the best wealth in competitive sports.

    Besides age, focus on teenagers can also help the country in an extension of sports. Related industries are to develop following the trend too, with the popularity of gaming among children. This kind of development can stimulate the economy in this sector, and it can offer more employment in sports. It is a benign circle which both helps the economy and sports.

    In all, encouragement is crucial both in competition and popularization. Under such a circumstance, one country will be successful in sports.

    April 15, 2020 at 9:34 pm

    Score: 67.8

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Ronnie Yao
    University: Suzhou Univeristy of Sicence and Technology
    Nationality: China
    April 16, 2020 at 8:23 am

    Most countries tend to raise high-level athletes and take part in big competitions because of the demand for international competition and the sports spirit. While the way of building such athletes is debatable. Some people hold the opinion that the government should spend money on encouraging children to do sports. My personal view is quite positive about this idea.

    Lots of great talented people show their sports gift at a very young age. We should focus on this period to raise them because we do not have much time. With ages going up, people will be unable to get good results in sports. Many American and European high schools have their independent gyms and professional coaches. It provides students the place to do sports. Coaches can teach and select talented teenagers and cultivate them. This example is the clue, and it can prove the idea. Our sports industry can be prosperous only if we have a large base of teenagers. Everyone knows that young age is the best wealth in competitive sports.

    Besides age, focus on teenagers can also boost the sports industry in the country. With the popularity of gaming among children, related industries develop following the trend too. The development can contribute to the economy in this sector, and offer more jobs. It is a benign circle which both helps the economy and sports.

    In all, encouragement is crucial both in competition and popularization. Under such a circumstance, one country will be successful in sports.

    April 23, 2020 at 2:32 am

    Invalid [conflicting with another essay under revision; submit this essay gain after you complete the revision of the other essay.]