Some parents give their kids (primary or middle school) a small amount of money weekly, while others fear this may have a bad influence on kids. What is your opinion? 

Score: ungraded

Issues:

1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
2. About 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
3. Preposition errors

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

Score: 58.8

Whether parents should offer their kids allowance has become a heated discussion. Some people worry an allowance may have exercise a bad influence on kids. But in my opinion, giving kids a small bit allowance periodically is reasonable. As because kids need money for their hobbies, and (it also) prevents kids from using money may have a worse influence conversely.

Healthy hobbies spark kids’ interest help kids get interested in exploring the world, but they need economic support. When I was a teen, I was a great fan of model car models. Although my parents did not have any model cars had never played models before, they were willing to support me with money. So I got the freedom to buy the model cars models that I wanted. I competed with my peers and acquired knowledge about cars and machines during the process, which inspired me to study engineering at university made me devote myself to engineering at present. Other hobbies, like playing the guitar also need money to buy a suitable guitar and employ a tutor.

Besides Additionally, guiding kids to touch acquainting kids with money early can help them gain get knowledge about financing. Parents can help them use their allowance effectively by accounting and encourage them to do chores to earn extra pocket money. During the process, they’ll understand the importance of financing and diligence. These experiences and knowledge are priceless to them.

It should be noted that kids should get their allowance periodically. If they get a large sum moment of money all of on a sudden, they may spend it all on frivolous items be luxury and waste lots of money. And once they are cheated, the loss is also hard to afford.

Worrying Some worry that kids may use the money for bad hobbies like smoking or drinking is understandable. But if kids are already have been addicted to these hobbies, they are likely to get money illegally like stealing. It will cause a worse influence. So the main problem is how parents guide their kids to use money correctly. Once parents find money is abused, punishment is needed.

In summary a word, a small allowance is beneficial for children little money is worth to kids, but it must be accompanied by parents’ help and guidance.