Some parents give their kids (primary or middle school) a small amount of money weekly, while others fear this may have a bad influence on kids. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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July 6, 2021 at 11:46 am
Some parents give their kids (primary or middle school) a small amount of money weekly, while others fear this may have a bad influence on kids. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Recently the issue has been brought to the limelight that from time to time children are spoiled by their parents. Especially in terms of pocket money, most parents are blamed for giving too much to their children. I’m convinced that pocket money is not necessary because the advantages of giving it outweigh any benefits we gain from it.
First of all, we must face the essential fact that children in primary school or junior high are too young to be equipped with good money management skills and resist their lust. Immature as they are, they may refrain their desire to buy whatever they want. What’s worse, it brings out an ensuing fact that children tend to keep up with joneses, which also leads to a waste of money and unnecessary anxiety. For example, when I’m in primary school, the more pocket money a child was given, the more possible he or she became the leader of the class. Having a lot of pocket money not only mean they can share more snacks with others and own the most fashionable stuff, but also shows that their families are richer and of higher social status. The story is not isolated, but one of dozens of similar examples. It may undermine some children’s self-esteem and make them become more and more inferior, which will distort their value and harm them in the long run.
Although the popular belief is that giving the kids pocket money is an opportunity to teach them the value of money and better their financial skills, I doubt whether the argument bears much analysis. Pocket money is not the only way to teach money management skills. The most effective way is to discuss the ideas of earning money, saving money, taxes, investments, debt, interest, and all the other topics that will help set the children up for financial success in adulthood directly.
Judging from what has been discussed above, I do suggest that parents stop giving their children pocket money.
July 6, 2021 at 11:54 amRecently [punctuation error ]the issue[ what issue? ] has been( brought to the limelight)[use literal writing ] that (from time to time children are spoiled by their parents)[ how could you justify this? Don’t write something conflicting with the fact.]. Especially [redundant adverb ]in terms of pocket money, (most parents)[factual error…learn to use conditional writing ] are blamed for giving too[wrong adverb ] much to their children. I(’m convinced)[ wordy ] that pocket money is not necessary because the advantages of (giving it)unclear[ ] outweigh any benefits we gain from it[ unclear pronoun ].
First of all, we must face the essential fact that children in primary school or junior high are too young to be equipped with good money management skills and resist their lust. Immature as they are, they may refrain their desire to buy whatever they want. What’s worse, it brings out an ensuing fact that children tend to keep up with joneses, which also leads to a waste of money and unnecessary anxiety. For example, when I’m in primary school, the more pocket money a child was given, the more possible he or she became the leader of the class. Having a lot of pocket money not only mean they can share more snacks with others and own the most fashionable stuff, but also shows that their families are richer and of higher social status. The story is not isolated, but one of dozens of similar examples. It may undermine some children’s self-esteem and make them become more and more inferior, which will distort their value and harm them in the long run.
Although the popular belief is that giving the kids pocket money is an opportunity to teach them the value of money and better their financial skills, I doubt whether the argument bears much analysis. Pocket money is not the only way to teach money management skills. The most effective way is to discuss the ideas of earning money, saving money, taxes, investments, debt, interest, and all the other topics that will help set the children up for financial success in adulthood directly.
Judging from what has been discussed above, I do suggest that parents stop giving their children pocket money.
July 6, 2021 at 11:59 amPartial revision. Most sentences are unclear. Fix same/similar issues as/to my feedback and rewrite your essay.
July 6, 2021 at 1:58 pmRecently, more and more children are spoiled by their parents. In terms of pocket money, some parents are blamed for giving unnecessarily large amount of money to their children. Pocket money is not a must because the advantages of giving children pocket money might outweigh any benefits we gain from it.
First of all, children in primary school or middle school could be too young to resist their lust. Immature as they are, they may refrain their desire to buy whatever they want, such as a pair of a limited edition of sports shoes. What’s worse, children are likely to keep up with Joneses, ending in a waste of money and needless anxiety. The reason is that having a lot of pocket money not only means a child can share more snacks with others and wear the most fashionable clothes, but also shows that his or her family is rich and of high social status. Therefore, the more pocket money a child is given, the more possible he or she becomes the leader of the class. This phenomenon may hurt other children’s self-esteem, making them become more and more inferior.
Although the popular belief is that giving children pocket money would teach them the value of money and better their financial skills, I doubt whether the argument bears much analysis. Pocket money is not the sole way to help develop money management skills. An effective way is to discuss the ideas of earning money, saving money, taxes, investments, debt, interest, and all the other topics directly to children. This way may help set the children up for financial success in adulthood better.
Judging from what has been discussed above, I do suggest that parents stop giving their children pocket money.
July 7, 2021 at 9:41 amFinal Revision
Recently, more and more children are spoiled by their parents. In terms of pocket money, some parents are blamed for giving (article missing) unnecessarily large amount of money to their children. Pocket money is not a must because the advantages of giving children pocket money might outweigh any benefits we gain from it. (unclear what this means, make sure your argument is clear and succinct in your introduction)
First of all, children in primary school or middle school could be (are) too young to resist their lust (word choice error). Immature as they are (delete or rephrase), they may refrain (preposition missing) their desire to buy whatever they want, such as a pair of a limited edition of sports shoes. What’s worse (use a different transition phrase), children are likely to keep up with Joneses (word this differently, this is a good phrase but requires some explanation), ending in a waste of money and needless anxiety. The reason is that (rewrite) having a lot of pocket money not only means a child can share more snacks with others (simplify) and wear the most fashionable clothes, but it also shows that his or her family is rich and of high social status. Therefore, the more pocket money a child is given, the more possible he or she (they) become the leader of the class. This phenomenon may hurt other children’s self-esteem, making them become more and (feel) more inferior.
Although (Despite) the popular belief is (delete) that giving children pocket money would teach (teaches) them the value of money and better (improves) their financial skills, I doubt whether the argument bears much analysis (rephrase). Pocket money is not the sole way to help develop money management skills. An (A more) effective way is to discuss the ideas of earning money, saving money, taxes, investments, debt, interest, and all the (delete) other topics directly to children. This way may help (will) set the (delete) children up for financial success in adulthood better.
Judging from what has been discussed above, I do suggest that parents stop giving their children pocket money (summarize your argument again here).
July 12, 2021 at 2:38 amFinal revision
