Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible

  • susugd
    University: Shandong University of Science and Technology
    Nationality: Chinese
    October 17, 2020 at 1:25 am

    Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

    It is hard to deny that people could always get benefit through valuable information,and such a fact leads impressionable people to generate the opinion that it is positive to share as much as inforamtion as possible in the fields like scientific research,business and academic world. However such a statement suffers from both logical and factual fallacies,and it should be examined meticulously.As far as fairness and feasibility are concerned, I strongly hold that some information is too vital to be shared freely.

    First of all,it would be unfair to those people who wark hard or spend tons of money to get those messages to share them with no charge,as we need to recognize that the reason why information is valuable is mainly because of its rearty.To be more specific,the world today runs at an unprecedentedly fast speed due to the results in all kinds of scientific areas.We all know that it would be extremely difficult for a biochemical team to succeed in researching a vaccine which has incalculable importance to the world.So it seems unreasonable to use their outcome directly without giving them finacial reward.

    Nevertheless,a voice arises that we should share as much information as possible.Ironically,not all the information is beneficial to us,some of which might cause confusion and misunderstanding,leading us to a wrong way opposite to the right one.And such a result might cause an internation company losing a ton of money because of an inproper marketing strategy.Instead,if they spent some money for the useful information in advance,they would not have cost such a huge amount of money.

    In a nutshell,I maintian that we should pay more or less to some information that is valuable.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    October 19, 2020 at 4:45 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 65% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 25% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Spelling errors
    4. Punctuation and spacing errors

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    susugd
    University: Shandong University of Science and Technology
    Nationality: Chinese
    October 20, 2020 at 1:06 am

    It is hard to deny that people could always get benefit through valuable information, and such a fact leads impressionable people to generate the opinion that it is positive to share as much as information as possible in the fields like scientific research, business and academic world. But such a statement suffers from both logical and factual fallacies. As far as fairness and feasibility are concerned, I believer that some information is too vital to be shared freely.

    First of all, it would be unfair to those people who work hard or spend tons of money to get those messages to share them with no charge, as we need to recognize that the reason why information is valuable is because of its rarity. y. To be more specific, the world today runs at an unprecedentedly fast speed due to the results in all kinds of scientific areas. We all know that it would be extremely hard for a biochemical team to research a vaccine that has incalculable importance to the world. So it seems unreasonable to use their outcome directly without giving them financial reward.

    However, a voice arises that we should share as much information as possible. Ironically, not all the information is beneficial to us, which might cause confusion and misunderstanding, leading us to an incorrect way opposite the right one. And such a result might cause an international company losing a ton of money because of an improper marketing strategy. Instead,if they spent some money for the useful information in advance, they would not have cost such a tremendous amount of money.

    In a nutshell, I maintain that we should pay more or less to some valuable information.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    October 21, 2020 at 3:48 pm

    Score: 46.7

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. Preposition errors
    3. Article errors

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.