Some people like to keep records or experiences by exposing photos on social networking sites. Others do not like to create such records. Which way do you prefer?
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September 28, 2020 at 2:13 am
Some people like to keep records or experiences by exposing photos on social networking sites. Others do not like to create such records. Which way do you prefer?
With the development of technology and social media, more and people would like to express themselves in social networking websites or software. This provokes a controversial discussion that whether should people keep their personal photos to the public in that platform or not. From where I stand，I harbor an opinion that putting photos as records on public networking site is a more preferable idea.
Admittedly, there remains some threats when people place their private photos or messages on the social media. One of the most significant reasons is that strangers would easily get access to one’s personal information including home address or job, thus using the privacies to exert some crimes such as cheating.
However, everything has its pros and cons. In this case, by showing photos on the Internet others may quickly familiar with your personality and characters and enhance interpersonal relationship within a short period. If a person who show his photos in traveling, other people who are not familiar with him before may come to a conclusion that he has a positive life attitude and is a outgoing men. Thus, the crucial information sent by photos may create more common topics when they first meet while enhancing the efficiency in building up their mutual understanding and relatioinship.
What’s more, by pooling photos to the mass media, people would get more attention from others which will provide them confidence and sense of achievement. Psychologically speaking, extensive researches indicate that people would feel more positive when they get extra attention from people they like or people who have special meanings for them. Thus, the positive emotions would increase their evaluations on themselves and their current activities. For instance, when I go to a competition held by a famous company, I would prefer to show my attendance by taking photos and sending on my Wechat or Facebook which undoubtedly will be presented to my families and friends. Getting praise from them make me happier.
October 1, 2020 at 3:38 pmScore: 49.2
Issues:
- About 70% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- Lots of spacing errors.
- Use your own words to write (i.e. I harbor an opinion…).
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
October 2, 2020 at 3:00 pmWith the development of technology and social media, more and more people have their own cellphones. As a result, they can easily express themselves in social networking applications. The popular trend provokes a controversial discussion that whether people should keep photos on free-access websites as memorable records. From where I stand, I harbor that exposing personal photographs on social networking software is a more preferable idea.
Admittedly, some threats exist when people pose their private photos on social media. On the one hand, strangers may easily acquire one’s personal information from photos. This kind of privacy once known by others could harm your safety in real life. For instance, strangers may find out one’s current working place by a location lag attached to photos. If they also get other information like one’s names from his photos of birthday cake, they can send emails to the person and threaten he/she for money, or rather disturbing his life in this way.
However, everything has its pros and cons. In this case, by showing photos on one’ networking sites, people can lead others to know their personalities quickly. Hence, they would establish tightly interpersonal relationships with other people within a short period. If a person who has shown his photos in a positive way, such as photos of smiles and wonderful sunrise, others may conclude that he is an outgoing and optimistic guy. Thus, crucial information sent by photos may additionally provide common topics when communicating personal interests and habits. By doing so, records of personal photos shared by all would enhance interpersonal bonds among people.
Furthermore, by sharing various photos on the networking media, people would get more attention from others which will provide them confidence and happiness. Psychologically speaking, extensive research indicates that people would feel more positive when they get extra attention from people who have special meanings for them. In this case, the positive emotions, especially confidence, would improve their self-evaluations. For instance, when I went to a famous consulting company’s competition, I would prefer to show my attendance and award by taking photos and sending to my Wechat or Facebook. It would undoubtedly be my precious memory that I ought to share with my beloved family members. Getting attention and encouragement from them make me more assertive.
October 2, 2020 at 3:14 pmWith the development of technology and social media, more and more people have their own cellphones[There is no causal link between the two clauses ]. As a result, they[ unclear pronoun ] can
easilyexpress themselves in social(networking applications)[ media/networks ].The[This (to improve coherence) ]popular[ redundant ]trend provokes a controversial discussion that whether people should keep photos on (free-access websites)[irrelevant to the prompt ] as memorable records. From where I stand,I harbor that[ redundant ]exposing personal photographs on socialnetworking software[networks ]is a more preferable idea[ than what? – make it clear ].Admittedly, some threats exist when people pose their private photos on social media. On the one hand, strangers may easily acquire one’s personal information from photos. This kind of privacy once known by others could harm your safety in real life. For instance, strangers may find out one’s current working place by a location lag attached to photos. If they also get other information like one’s names from his photos of birthday cake, they can send emails to the person and threaten he/she for money, or rather disturbing his life in this way.
However, everything has its pros and cons. In this case, by showing photos on one’ networking sites, people can lead others to know their personalities quickly. Hence, they would establish tightly interpersonal relationships with other people within a short period. If a person who has shown his photos in a positive way, such as photos of smiles and wonderful sunrise, others may conclude that he is an outgoing and optimistic guy. Thus, crucial information sent by photos may additionally provide common topics when communicating personal interests and habits. By doing so, records of personal photos shared by all would enhance interpersonal bonds among people.
Furthermore, by sharing various photos on the networking media, people would get more attention from others which will provide them confidence and happiness. Psychologically speaking, extensive research indicates that people would feel more positive when they get extra attention from people who have special meanings for them. In this case, the positive emotions, especially confidence, would improve their self-evaluations. For instance, when I went to a famous consulting company’s competition, I would prefer to show my attendance and award by taking photos and sending to my Wechat or Facebook. It would undoubtedly be my precious memory that I ought to share with my beloved family members. Getting attention and encouragement from them make me more assertive.
October 2, 2020 at 3:20 pmPartial revision. Reason: verbose writing. Also, reduce your essay to 300 – 320 words.
