Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

  • Irene120
    University: university of southern california
    Nationality: China
    August 12, 2020 at 2:22 am

    Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

    Living environment is one of the most discussed topics among people especially under such circumstances when the world is closely connected by various transports. As a girl born in China, we are holding a belief passing down from our ancestors that is “Luo Ye Gui Gen”, in other words, that people are supposed to return to their hometown where they are born and where they would die. However, as for living places, we have some other sayings, mostly translated to the notion that is traveling to as many places as possible when you are able to. Consequently, from my personal perspective, I prefer to disagree with the statement that it is better to live in one town forever.

    First of all, living in various cities is not only beneficial to broaden our horizons but to positively change our mindset. I would take myself as an example as I relocated to 4 cities within my country in the last 5 years and relocated to Los Angeles last year. I cannot deny that I am a settled person who values old items, afraid of any changes, unwilling to shake my hands in a welcoming party. Several years’ relocation made me feel exhausted. However, I appreciated the experiences which prevented me from being “the frog in the well”, helping me realize how interesting the world is. Moreover, the competencies of making friends with different cultural backgrounds lay a foundation for me to propose a nutrition start-up.

    Second, moving from one place to another, under most circumstances represents a better job or study opportunity. Also, moving to a bigger city may imply better choices. For example, a girl who holds the dream of becoming a Hollywood actress would relocate to Los Angeles as LA is the source of many magnificent movies. Living here may be engaged in a higher chance of meeting prestigious directors or filmmakers.

    To summarize, moving from one place to another can not only broaden your horizons, help you be more open-minded but also imply better opportunities for future careers.

    August 13, 2020 at 7:29 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 53% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Wordy introduction – remove unnecessary words and present your argument more clearly
    4. Word choice errors

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.