Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects

  • zfc
    University: southern university of science and technology
    Nationality: china
    May 4, 2019 at 1:14 pm

    An ancient excavated building that reflected advanced level of science and technology back then.

    TOPIC: Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

    In today’s schools, history and science and technology courses are compulsory courses for students to learn. People always hold a different idea about which subject is more important for society today. Personally, both history and science and technology are equally critical.

    On the one hand, history does be an indispensable subject for any single person and country. Despite the students that major in history, a technical guy also needs to learn the history of his own field. This tie period about the development of technology can be helpful for him to understand deeper into what he is focusing, rather than just a set of equations. For example, the history of how quantum physics were found can predict the future of our physical world. As for a country, learning history can give us an idea about what our ancestors did and how they contribute to their countries. By doing so, we can avoid the same disasters have been appeared such as World War Two.

    On the other hand, there is no denying that science and technology plays an essential role in today’s world. A historian usually needs to learn some basic knowledge about science and technology, which can help them to know more about how history and science are connected. Because the development of history is always promoted by the progressing of technology. For instance, without the invention of ironware, our beautiful human being age would not exist. In addition, science and technology is the first productive force, which is a slogan famous in China. It means that science and technology are necessary for the promotion of a nation. If a nation cannot fill the stomachs of the citizens, they would be less likely to learn history stories.

    In conclusion, history and science and technology courses are both the key to promoting the people and countries. They should co-exist in the development of today’s world.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    May 7, 2019 at 10:49 pm

    Score: 61.2

    Suggestions for Improvement

    • Convert passive-voice sentences into their active counterparts;
    • Remove redundancies (i.e. In today’s schools, history and science and technology courses are compulsory courses for students to learn. – In many schools, history, science and technology courses are compulsory for students. )

    Rewrite and resubmit your essay

    Problems Highlight

    In today’s schools, history and science and technology courses[Repetition] are compulsory courses for students to learn. People always [Avoid Absolute Writing] hold a different idea about which subject is more important for society today. Personally, both history and science and technology are equally critical.

    On the one hand, history does [Grammatical Error] be an indispensable subject for any single person and country. Despite the students that major in history, a technical guy also needs to learn the history of his own [Redundant]field. This tie period about the development of technology can be helpful for him to understand deeper into what he is focusing, rather than just [Unnecessary Adverb]a set of equations. [Long, hard-to-read sentence] For example, the history of how quantum physics were [Grammatical Error] found [Passive Voice]can predict the future of our physical world. As for a country, learning history can give us an idea about what our ancestors did and how they contribute [Grammatical Error] to their countries. By doing so, we can avoid the same disasters have [Grammatical Error] been appeared [Passive Voice]such as World War Two.

    On the other hand, there is no denying that science and technology plays [Grammatical Error]an essential role in today’s world. A historian usually needs to learn some basic knowledge about science and technology, which can help them[Grammatical Error] to know more about how history and science are connected. [Long, hard-to-read sentence] Because the development of history is always promoted by [Passive Voice]the progressing of technology. For instance, without the invention of ironware, our beautiful human being age would not exist. In addition, science and technology is [Grammatical Error]the first productive force, which is a slogan famous in China. It means that science and technology are necessary for the promotion [Wrong Word] of a nation. If a nation cannot [Grammatical Error]fill the stomachs of the citizens, they would be less likely to learn history stories.

    In conclusion, history and science and technology courses are both the key to promoting the people and countries. They should co-exist in the development of today’s world.

    [There are more issues than the highlighted ones. Rewrite and re-submit this essay.]

    zfc
    University: southern university of science and technology
    Nationality: china
    May 10, 2019 at 2:56 am

    In today’s schools, history, science and technology courses are compulsory for students. People hold different ideas about which subject is more important for society today, with some saying that history is one of the most vital units while others say science and technology subjects are more crucial. Personally, both history and science and technology are equally critical.

    On the one hand, history is an indispensable subject for any single person and country. Despite the students that major in history, a technical guy also needs to learn the history of his field. This period about the development of technology can be helpful for him to understand deeper into what he is focusing, rather than a set of equations. For example, according to the history of the search of quantum physics can predict the future of our physical world. As for a country, learning history can give us an idea about what our ancestors did and how they contributed to their countries. By doing so, we can avoid the same disasters that have appeared such as World War Two.

    On the other hand, there is no denying that science and technology play an essential role in today’s world. The processing of history always accompanies with the promotion of science and technology. A historian usually needs to learn some basic knowledge about science and technology, which can help him to know more about the connection between history and science. For instance, without the invention of ironware, our beautiful human being age would not exist. In addition, science and technology are the first productive force, which is a slogan famous in China. It means that they are necessary for the development of a nation in terms of what it produces. If the citizens are hard to fill their stomachs, they would be less likely to learn history stories.

    In conclusion, history and science and technology courses are both the key to promoting the people and countries. They should co-exist in the development of today’s world.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    May 15, 2019 at 3:09 am

    Score: 60.7

    Will get back to you shortly.
    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    May 16, 2019 at 6:56 pm

    Final Edit

    In today’s schools, history, science and technology courses are compulsory for students. People hold different ideas about which subject is more important for society today, with some saying that history is one of the most vital units while others say science and technology subjects are more crucial. Personally, I believe both history and science and technology are equally critical.

    On the one hand, history is an indispensable subject for any single/independent person and country. In addition to Despite the students that major in history, a technical guy also needs to learn the history of his field. This period revealing/describing/illustrating/elaborating about the development of technology can be helpful for him to understand more deeply deeper into what he is focusing on, rather than a set of equations. For example, according to the history of historical evidence supporting the search of quantum physics can help to predict the future of our physical world. As for a country, learning/studying history can give us an idea about what our ancestors did and how they contributed to their countries. By doing so, we can avoid the same disasters that have appeared such as World War Two.

    On the other hand, there is no denying that science and technology play an essential role in today’s world. The processing of history always accompanies with the promotion of science and technology. A historian usually needs to learn some basic knowledge about science and technology, which can help him or her to know more about the connection between history and science. For instance, without the invention of ironware, our artistic culture beautiful human being age would not exist. In addition, science and technology are the first productive forces, which is a slogan famous slogan in China. It means that they are necessary for the development of a nation in terms of what it produces. If the citizens find it are hard to fill their stomachs, they would be less likely to learn history stories.

    In conclusion, history and science and technology courses are all both the key to promoting the people and their countries. They should co-exist in the development of today’s world.