Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history.
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July 24, 2020 at 9:26 am
Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is an argument about the importance of History and Science and Technology. Some people believe that History should be the major course in school curriculum, while others think Science and Technology should be given priority. In my opinion, although it is necessary to study History, we should emphasize more on Science and Technology.
On the one hand, History is a kind of subject which introduces us past life and give us identities. Young students can learn their ancestors’ lives and sufferings through history learning, thus get to know how their countries and cultures evolved. For example, students in China study their country’s history dates back to 1000 BC, which makes them feel proud and a sense of belongings. That is to say, our present and future lives are embedded in our past life, and the memories we have passed down through generations make what we called culture and civilisation.
On the other hand, while History shows us past life, modern Science and Technology actually is an integrality of contemporary life and will determine our future development. We use computers in our work and study to process complex data, we shop online and order delivery food through smart devices at home, all these convenient lives rely on update technologies. Therefore, students must learn and acquire knowledge about Science and Technology if they were to adapt modern life and find a job in the society. Futhermore, even if students who are majored in History use computers and high-tech tools to study and conduct a research, let alone frontier subjects such as physics and medicine science. So it is necessary and important for students to equip themselves with Science and Technology, not only for their future career , but also for the development of whole society.
In conclusion, although History can teaches us a lot and is adimittedly a compulsory subject for students, Science and Technology should be the foremost one. History is our cherished memories kept in heart, while Science and Technology is a compass guide our future life.
July 24, 2020 at 7:38 pmScore: ungraded
Issues:
- Vague sentences that do not contain valuable information.
- Capitalization errors.
- Article errors.
- Verb form errors.
- Lengthy paragraphs. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words.
- About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
July 25, 2020 at 3:27 amThe revised one:
There is an argument about the importance of History and Science and Technology. Some people believe that History should be a compulsory course in school curriculum. Others think that Science and Technology are more crucial. In my opinion, while it is necessary to study History, practical courses such as Science and Technology should be given more priority.
On the one hand, History is a kind of subject which introduces us life in the past and give us identities. Young students can learn their ancestors’ lives and sufferings through history learning. Thus they get to know how their countries and cultures have evolved over centuries. For example, students in China study history dates back to 1000 BC. They would feel proud and a sense of belonging about the ancient Chinese civilisation. Therefore, I believe that History is an indispensable part in our self-identity. What’s more, the heritage left by our predecessors, such as paintings and architecture, is invaluable. Through them we can understand different cultures and learn the real beauty created by human.
On the other hand, although History is important, Science and Technology is actually the foremost one. That’ because we live in an era where modern technology is an integrality of our daily life. We use computers in our work and study to process complex data, we shop online and order delivery food through smart devices at home. It is hard to imagine how a person could live if he or she don’t understand digital technology. So it is vital to include Science and Technology in primary school courses. Furthermore, computer science is penetrating in almost all industries nowadays. Students equipped with these profound knowledge are more likely to find a good job and be successful in their career. This is the very purpose of modern education.
In conclusion, History is, admittedly, a vital course in school education. But Science and Technology are much more crucial. Both schools and governments should devote more resources and time to Science and Technology. And students should be educated with the most critical knowledge during different time in their life.
July 27, 2020 at 11:09 pmThere is an argument about the importance of History and Science and Technology[Unclear/rephrase; Upper case refers to a specific course name ]. Some people believe that History should be a compulsory course in school [word form error ]curriculum. Others think that Science and Technology [ upper case error ]are more crucial. In my opinion, while it is necessary
to study History[ to take history coursework ], practical coursessuch as[in relation to science and technology ]Science and Technologyshould be given more priority[redundant more/priority ].On the one hand,
History[history ] is a kind of subject which introducesuslife in the past [ to us ] and give[ verb agreement error ] us identities[unclear ]. Young students can learn their ancestors’ lives and sufferings through history learning[ repetition ]. Thus they get to know how their countries and cultures have evolved over centuries. For example, students in China study history dates [grammatical error ]back to 1000 BC. They would feel (proud and a sense of belonging about)[unparalleled ] the ancient Chinese civilisation. Therefore, I believe thatHistory[history ] is an indispensable part (in our self-identity)[unclear ]. What’s more, the heritage left by our predecessors, such as paintings and architecture, is invaluable. Through them[ unclear pronoun ] we can understand different cultures and learn the real beauty created by human[ word form error ].On the other hand, although History[upper case ] is important, Science and Technology[ ] is actually the foremost one. That’ because we live in an era where modern technology is an integrality of our daily life. We use computers in our work and study to process complex data, [punctuation error ]we shop online and order delivery food through smart devices at home. It is hard to imagine how a person could[ grammatical error ] live if he or she don’t [grammatical error (subjunctive) ]understand digital technology. So it is vital to include Science and Technology [ ]in[ preposition error ] primary school courses[ unclear ]. Furthermore, computer science is penetrating in almost all industries nowadays. Students equipped with these [ unclear pronoun/plural ]profound knowledge are more likely (to find a good job and be successful)[unparalleled ] in their career. This is the very purpose of modern education.
In conclusion, History[ ] is, admittedly[ misplaced ], a vital course in school education. But Science and Technology are much more crucial. Both schools and governments should devote more resources and time to Science and Technology. And[coordinating conjunction error ] students should be educated [ passive ]with the most critical knowledge during different time[ word form error ] in their life.
* I don’t have the original prompt. But be clear: if you use History, Science, and Technology as course names, it is okay to use upper case; in other contexts, use lower case.
