Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. 

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. 

  • syiheng
    University: universität duisburg-essen
    Nationality: chinese
    September 10, 2020 at 4:23 pm

    Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. 

    It is extremely obvious that advertising campaigns are surrounded in every corner around the world, such as in the whole glass screen of skyscrapers, which causes fabulous effects on products. Therefore, I hold the opinion that advertising is still valuable with some new strategies and methods.

    On the one hand, some individuals believe that advertising stimulates our potentials to shop. Advertisements accelerate the process that we get familiar with a product. Because this kind of strategy is likely to provide more details of products. Furthermore, to get more attention from those who had never access to the amenity, it is possible for a host of companies to compare the relevant information between their products and other inferior ones so that customers and observers possibly regard their companies as the leader of their walks. Therefore, customers have more possibilities to buy them when necessary.

    On another hand, some people argue that advertising has lost its modern merit because it will not be focused extensively like before. We are situated in an era with the booming of information. Nevertheless, the majority of us have lost our interest to browse information. We are not fanatical with any details as well as events instead of being fastidious. Hence, advertisement campaigns have gradually forfeited their effects.

    In my opinion, advertising should be considerate and its function could be neglected. However, we’d better devise some new measures, which can attract more audience. Because numerous information has made people have the ability to filter something unimportant.

    To conclude, the traditional way of vending had exactly affected our choice. But it’s not suitable anymore. New methods and new techniques must be exerted.

    September 10, 2020 at 9:11 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. A lot of sentences don’t make sense.
    2. About 25% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

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