Some people think that old buildings should be knocked down and give way to modern buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people think that old buildings should be knocked down and give way to modern buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  • 1015219599
    University: BeiJing University of Chemical Technology
    Nationality: Chinese
    March 19, 2020 at 12:16 pm

    Some people think that old buildings should be knocked down and give way to modern buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    A range of people hold the view that aged constructions are supposed to be knocked down, providing space for new buildings. I agree to some extent, and I believe that some old buildings should be preserved.

    There are several reasons why old buildings should be knocked down. Firstly, the security of residents living in old building cannot be thoroughly guaranteed because the material consisting the aged architectures may have deteriorated over the period of decades, making themselves likely to topple down. Secondly, knocking down old buildings will promote the development of the economy since a variety of real estate agents are in dire desire to construct more apartments to attract more consumers, and this intention will be fulfilled by knocking down old buildings. Finally, people residing in old buildings will be immensely benefited if the buildings are knocked down owing to the enormous amount of financial compensation they will receive. For example, land agents will offer a considerable number of money or equivalent items as a condition of requiring residents to move out before knocking down an building.

    However, I believe that some architectures ought to be conserved after experiencing the baptism of time. There are multiple historical buildings witnessing countless events in history, which have been an indispensable part of the history and culture and It is definitely impolitic to remove them from existence. For example, the Chinese government only modifies the Forbidden City instead of operating renovation no matter how many decades have passed by. Furthermore, some people have an extreme obsession with the place they have lived for their whole life, and if the land agents force them to leave, it will produce them an irreversible trauma. If the old buildings are able to be reserved, it will produce advantages both in cultural and human-related spectrums.

    In conclusion, knocking down old buildings is able to provide various benefits, but I hold the view that the conservation of some old buildings comes with great necessities.

    March 20, 2020 at 11:58 pm

    Score: Ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 70% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 40% of the sentences are passive. Convert them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.