Some people think that schools should select students according to their academic abilities, while others believe that it is better to have students with different abilities studying together.
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August 15, 2019 at 2:24 am
IELTS Writing Topic: Some people think that schools should select students according to their academic abilities, while others believe that it is better to have students with different abilities studying together.
It is true that individual’s IQ varies from person to person. Some people believe students should be allocated to different schools or classes which are compatible with their academic competence as it is beneficial to their academic performance. however, others holds that all students should be educated together regardless of their abilities. In my opinion, students should be educated together in lectures, but with separate tutorials.
On the one hand, being taught according to their learning abilities can help students perform better in academic fields, because those with same abilities have similar learning speeds. Therefore, the teacher can focus more on the contents of the lecture without worrying someone cannot catch up with others. For instance, some schools have set up excellent-students classes where teachers have faster teaching speeds and deeper contents. As a result, the graduates turned out to be admitted into prestigious high schools or universities. Therefore, it is reasonable to educate pupils considering their abilities.
On the flip side, some people think that separating students by the abilities does harm to their metal health, bot for brilliant students and ordinary students. It may lead to anxiety if there are too many good students together, as the competition among them will be extremely intense. Meanwhile, average students may suffer feelings of depression since they are excluded from their clever counterparts. Therefore, opponents think that the allocation of students should be banned, giving consideration of keeping mental health.
In my opinion, students should study together with optional tutorials separately, during which teaching assistants will answer students’ questions separately. This provides students chances to both study together and at their own paces. In such cases, both mental health and academic performance are guaranteed.
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August 27, 2019 at 2:04 amScore: 45.8
Suggestions for Improvement
- Convert passive sentences into their active counterparts;
- Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words.
Problems Highlight
IELTS Writing Topic: Some people think that schools should select students according to their academic abilities, while others believe that it is better to have students with different abilities studying together.It is true thatindividual’s[redundant ]IQ varies from person to person. Some people believe students should be allocated [passive ]to different schools or classeswhich arecompatible with their academic competence as/since it is beneficial to their academic performance. [ wordy]however, others holds [ grammatical error]that all students should be educated [passive ] together regardless of their abilities. In my opinion, students should be educated [passive ]together[repetition ] in lectures, but with separate tutorials.On the one hand, being taught [passive ]according to their learning abilities can help students perform better in academic fields, [punctuation error ]because those with same abilities have similar learning speeds.[ wordy] Therefore, the teacher can focus more on the contents of the lecture without worrying [ preposition error]someone cannot catch up with others. For instance, some schools have set up excellent-students classes where teachers have faster teaching speeds and deeper contents[logical confusion ]. As a result, the graduates turned out to be admitted [passive ]into prestigious high schools or universities. Therefore, it is reasonable to educate pupils considering their abilities.On the flip side[ wrong usage], some people think that separating students by the abilities does harm to their metal [ incorrect word]health, bot [incorrect word ]for brilliant students and ordinary students. [ wordy]It may lead to anxiety if there are too[ problematic adverb] many good students together, as the competition among them will be extremely intense. Meanwhile, average students may sufferfeelings offrom depression since they are excluded from their clever counterparts. [ wordy]Therefore, opponents think that the allocation of students should be banned, [passive ] giving consideration [wrong phrase ]of keeping mental health.[ wordy/logical confusion]In my opinion, students should study together with optional tutorials separately, during which teaching assistants will answer students’ questions separately. [ wordy]This [ unclear pronoun]provides students chances to both study together and at their own paces[grammatical error ]. In such cases, both mental health and academic performance are guaranteed. [passive ]Comment: There are more errors than those highlighted ones. Please revise and resubmit your essay for further assessment and revision. Regards.
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WritersForMe Writing Tips
- Absolute Statement: Avoid using absolute statement.
- ARTICLE ERROR: errors concerning a, an, the. This is a prominent issue for Chinese students. Make sure to add/remove/change articles considering a specific context.
- BE VERBS: BE verbs are dull and vague. Use concrete verbs to replace BE verbs whenever needed. I.E. commercials are beneficial to children. – Commercials benefit children.
- COHERENCE: To improve the natural flow from one sentence to the other, make the subject of a sentence echo the subject, or the object, of the last sentence.
- COORDINATING CONJUNCTION error: In formal writing, a comma is needed when the 7 coordinating words (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so – FANBOYS) are connecting sentences/clauses.
- Effectiveness: use verbs instead of BE+adjectives to improve effectiveness.
- Grammatical Errors: grammatical mistakes.
- It + Be + Verb: Wordy.
- Logical confusion. Although a sentence is grammatically correct, often it is logically/factually confusing. Having written a sentence, ask yourself if the sentence is logically complete, and/or factually true.
- NOT problem. Experienced writers often avoid using NOT in English writing. I.e. Jack was very upset because he had not passed the GRE test. – I.e. Jack was very upset because he had failed the GRE test.
- PASSIVE VOICE: In many cases, clarity suffers when using passive voice. In particular linguistic contexts, using passive voice is fine.
- Semicolon: Use a semicolon in front of an adverb/adverbial phrase.
- Subjunctive: Memorize the grammatical rules for subjunctive mood.
- There Be Sentence: Wordy
- Unclear Pronouns: A pronoun (it, this, that, they, them., etc) unclearly refers to the prior content. For example, the first sentence contains two singular nouns, so IT in the second sentence can refer either of them.
- Unparalleled Structure: use paralleled structures, including tense.
- VERBOSE: The sentence/phrase can be simplified.
- WEAK VERBS: an alternative verb may help improve sentence effectiveness and clarity. The Internet makes us know many things. – The Internet helps us (to) know many things.
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