Some people think that watching movies in a cinema is better. Others think watching movies at home is better. which do you prefer?

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  • TruckersForMe Participant
    JasmineZihan
    University: Communication University of China
    Nationality: China
    August 3, 2019 at 3:29 pm

    TOEFL Writing TOPIC: Some people think that watching movies in a cinema is better. Others think watching movies at home is better. which do you prefer?

    Movies are always good choices to relax during spare time. When it comes to the issue about where and how to watch a film, people’s opinion differs from person to person. Some may prefer watching films in a cinema with someone else, well some may enjoy watching a movie at home all alone. On a personal level, going to the cinema seems a better choice for me.

    To begin with, watching a movie with friends helps improve your relationship. We always enjoy spending time with our close friends, so when we are planning a date with our friends or lovers, going to the cinema and sharing a movie together will never be a bad idea. We can pick a romantic film such as ‘Titanic’ with our lovers; we can see an action movie with our friends and we can also find a funny movie to share with our family.Besides, we are able to discuss our feeling after the movie. Talking about how the story was arranged, how were the actors performed or what could we get from the show. These are all precious experiences which we would put them into our hearts. Sometimes it is not the film itself but the people we are with that matters.

    Moreover, we can get a better watching experience in a theater. If you watch a movie in your home with a computer, all you can get is just the content of the movie. As the 3D technology and special effects become more and more widely used in the films, the story of the movies seems less important. Taking the series of Marvel movies as an instance, I am attracted by the adventures of the characters but I am more interested in the incredible visual effect. Therefore, wearing 3D glasses and sitting in a big cinema, I can image that I am one of them. I can slay the evil dragon and save the pretty princess, I can study and use the magic with Harry Potter, I can also travel through the universe with the Star-Lord. I can gain a more realistic feeling if I choose to enjoy a movie at the cinema.

    Admittedly, maybe it takes some time for you to get to the cinema and receive your tickets; maybe somebody is talking loudly on the phone while you are watching the movie. While we could buy tickets online and pick a nearby cinema to save time, we could criticize the people who break the rule directly. In this way, we would find ways to solve the difficulties and have an admirable time.

    In short, from what has been pointing out above, I show a preference for watching a movie in the cinema.

    TruckersForMe Participant
    Administrator
    August 6, 2019 at 3:17 am

    Score: Ungraded (This essay is too long to be graded)

    Suggestions for Improvement

    • Convert passive sentences into their active counterparts;
    • Shorten the essay within 320 words;
    • Restrict each paragraph to 85 words;
    • Shorten and split sentences exceeding 20 words.

    Writing Tips

    1. Absolute Statement: Avoid using absolute statement.
    2. ARTICLE ERROR: errors concerning a, an, the. This is a prominent issue for Chinese students. Make sure to add/remove/change articles considering a specific context.
    3. BE VERBS: BE verbs are dull and vague. Use concrete verbs to replace BE verbs whenever needed. I.E. commercials are beneficial to children. – Commercials benefit children.
    4. COHERENCE: To improve the natural flow from one sentence to the other, make the subject of a sentence echo the subject, or the object, of the last sentence.
    5. COORDINATING CONJUNCTION error: In formal writing, a comma is needed when the 7 coordinating words (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so – FANBOYS) are connecting sentences/clauses.
    6. Effectiveness: use verbs instead of BE+adjectives to improve effectiveness.
    7. Grammatical Errors: grammatical mistakes.
    8. It + Be + Verb:  Wordy.
    9. Logical confusion. Although a sentence is grammatically correct, often it is logically/factually confusing. Having written a sentence, ask yourself if the sentence is logically complete, and/or factually true.
    10. NOT problem. Experienced writers often avoid using NOT in English writing. I.e. Jack was very upset because he had not passed the GRE test. – I.e. Jack was very upset because he had failed the GRE test.
    11. PASSIVE VOICE: In many cases, clarity suffers when using passive voice. In particular linguistic contexts, using passive voice is fine.
    12. Semicolon: Use a semicolon in front of an adverb/adverbial phrase.
    13. Subjunctive: Memorize the grammatical rules for subjunctive mood.
    14. There Be Sentence: Wordy
    15. Unclear Pronouns: A pronoun (it, this, that, they, them., etc) unclearly refers to the prior content. For example, the first sentence contains two singular nouns, so IT in the second sentence can refer either of them.
    16. Unparalleled Structure:  use paralleled structures, including tense.
    17. VERBOSE: The sentence/phrase can be simplified.
    18. WEAK VERBS: an alternative verb may help improve sentence effectiveness and clarity. The Internet makes us know many things. – The Internet helps us (to) know many things.
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