At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

  • Selina
    University: Shandong University
    Nationality: China
    March 29, 2021 at 10:58 am

    At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

    The issue of fields what universities should invest is a controversial one. It has been argued that sports and social activities should attain the same financial support as classes and libraries because they are equally important. I, however, hold the latter is more significant.

    Admittedly that sports and social activities play a positive role in the development of students. By doing sports, students can exercise their body. For example, students can strengthen muscle by playing basketball and decrease fat by running. Besides, they can enlarge their social circles by participating in lots of social activities for they will meet a lot of new people and make friends with them. However, in my opinion, study is still the first priority of college students. So, classes and libraries should receive more financial fund.

    To begin with, spending more money on classes and libraries can create a better study environment. A huge investment in classes and libraries means many teaching resources and appealing learning atmosphere. Take my university as an example, last year, my university spent a lot of money reforming old classes, which brings priceless knowledge. Also, it spent 2 million on renovating our libraries—-buying large quantities of books and changing desks and chairs into new ones. Consequently, we have easier access to various study resources and possess a better study place.

    Furthermore, investing more money in classes and libraries can help school win more academic reputation. As we know, it is the academic ability of a university that accounts for a vital part of college assessment. Statistics has shown that the top universities are also the universities that invest classes and libraries most. Hence, if a university’s classes and libraries develop well, it will be better known by others and more excellent students and extraordinary professors will be attracted.

    To conclude, although sports and social activities are an essential part of college’s life, I believe that classes and libraries are more important which should receive more investment.

    March 30, 2021 at 1:45 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. Lots of unclear sentences and grammatical errors.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

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