At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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    September 26, 2020 at 11:54 am

    At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    Many things in universities, like classes, sports, social activities and libraries, requires sufficient funding to put themselves into operation. Although sports and social activities don’t seem like a necessary element of universities comparing to classes and libraries, since universities are built for acadamic purpose, I still agree with the idea that sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial supports.

    First of all, both sports and social activities are essential parts of college students’ campus life. For example, many students go to gym every week and consider it as a routine habit, and many students also take part in societies, making friends with those who share common hobbies. Since most students in universities stay in accomadations, university should be more than just a place for learning but also a place for living, making funding on sports and social activities neccessary.

    Secondly, sports and social activities, in fact, are benificial to students’ acadamic performances. For the sports, many scientific researches show that sports can help one have a better concentration and efficiency in studying. While social activities are also helpful since that taking part in social activities gives one chances to make friends with those who is of better acdamic performances, who can act both as a friend and a teacher.

    Finally, sports and social activities are of great help in promoting ones’ mood, which could be of great help in the reduction of depression. Many students nowadays are suffering from depression. Actually, it’s so common that it can’t be treated as a phenomenon that’s neglectable. The reason for such a serious problem is that college students nowadays are bearing too much burden, both in study and life, causing students overwhelmed by bad emotion. However, if sports and social activities are well funded, students can have a greater chance to have a nice mood everyday, eliminating the chance of getting depression.

    All in all, for the reasons above, I consider that sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

    October 1, 2020 at 7:02 pm

    Score: 45.9

    Issues:

    1. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    October 1, 2020 at 7:02 pm

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