At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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June 11, 2020 at 1:33 pm
At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
As people regard education as an essential part of life, universities receive more and more financial support from all walks of life. However, two different voices are heard from the public, whether sports and social activities should have equal financial support just as classes and libraries or not. From my perspective, I support social activities should receive the same financial support just as libraries.
At first, with sufficient financial support, many sports and social activities can be held which provide chances for students to have some outdoor activities that good for their physical and mental health. Specifically, a sports meeting can remind students of the importance of health, motivate children’s inspire to keep themselves fit. In some social activities like concerts, students who are fans of music can listen to music or play their music instruments and don’t need to worry about being criticized. In those ways, students can not only relax themselves, but also enrich their experience and have a spare time to refresh their minds.
Students are aimed to develop in various fields, not only focus on study, but also some other fields. Financial support for sports and social activities can also provide precious chances for students who have talents on sports, music or other fields to make progress more efficiently. When I was in elementary school, my best friend who always gained the first prize in school running race was picked up by a provincial coach and then began her professional sports career.
Admittedly, for most students and universities, their first target is to help students make excellent academic performance. However, it cannot be the only target for them. The whole society needs talents from all walks of life, and students need social and sports activities to relax themselves and bring their strengths into play. In a nutshell, I strongly agree that sports and social activities should attain equal financial support just as classes and libraries.
June 16, 2020 at 3:26 pmScore: 56.3
Issues:
- About 65% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- About 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
June 17, 2020 at 1:39 pmAs more and more people regard education as an essential part of life, universities and colleges receive more and more financial support from all walks of life. However, two different voices are heard from the public: Some people claim that sports and social activities should have equal financial support as classes and libraries, other people have the opposite one. From my perspective, sports and social activities make a complete campus life together with classes and libraries. Therefore, support social activities should receive the same financial support as libraries.
At first, Plenty of financial support makes it possible for the university to hold many sports and social activities. These activities provide chances for students to have some outdoor activities that good for their physical and mental health. For instance, Joining a sports meeting and taking participating in various projects can remind students of the importance of health, motivate children’s inspiration to keep themselves fit, boost their interests in running, swimming and so on. Some social activities like concerts isolate students from high-pressure study and give a chance to students who are fans of music to play their musical instruments and enjoy the music. Through participating in those activities, students can not only relax themselves to get better mental health but also have chances to keep physical health.
Students need to develop in various fields, not only focus on academic study. Financial support for sports and social activities can provide precious chances for students who have talents for sports or music to make progress more efficiently. My best friend in elementary school was chosen by a provincial coach in a school running race and then began her professional sports career.
Admittedly, for most universities, their first target is to help students make excellent academic performance. However, it cannot be the only target. The whole society needs talents from all walks of life rather than someone only knows to study. In a nutshell, I strongly agree that sports and social activities should attain equal financial support as classes and libraries to benefit students’ physical health, mental health, and all-rounded development.
June 17, 2020 at 4:34 pmScore: 49.5
Issues:
- About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
As more and more people regard education as an essential part of life, [ lack logical connection with the first clause ]universities and colleges receive more and more financial support from all walks of life. [ lack logical connection ]However, two different voices are heard from the public: Some people claim that sports and social activities should have equal financial support as classes and libraries, other people have the opposite one. From my perspective, sports and social activities make a complete campus life together with classes and libraries. Therefore, support social activities should receive the same financial support as libraries.
At first, Plenty of financial support makes it possible for the university to hold many sports and social activities.[ irrelevant; the topic doesn’t contain the information regarding amounts of support ] These activities[ apparently, you already excluded sports here; if not, think how to rephrase ] provide chances for students to have some outdoor activities [ outdoor activities differ from social activities ]that good for their physical and mental health. For instance, Joining a sports meeting and taking participating in various projects[ new, abrupt information ] can remind students of the importance of health, motivate children’s inspiration to keep themselves fit, boost their interests in running, swimming and so on. Some social activities like concerts isolate students from high-pressure study and give a chance to students who are fans of music to play their musical instruments and enjoy the music. Through participating in those activities, students can not only relax themselves to get better mental health but also have chances to keep physical health.
Students need to develop in various fields, not only focus on academic study. Financial support for sports and social activities can provide precious chances for students who have talents for sports or music to make progress more efficiently. My best friend in elementary school was chosen by a provincial coach in a school running race and then began her professional sports career.
Admittedly, for most universities, their first target is to help students make excellent academic performance. However, it cannot be the only target. The whole society needs talents from all walks of life rather than someone only (knows to study)[unclar ].
In a nutshell, I strongly agree that sports and social activities should attain equal financial support as classes and libraries to benefit students’ physical health, mental health, and all-rounded development.
