At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • yanjinghan
    University: Wuhan University
    Nationality: China
    July 13, 2020 at 2:04 pm

    At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    As society develops, the requirments for universities students have also changed. The students who have only acadenmic skills and knowledge can’t suit their career life, social ability and good manner are essential nowadays. Thus I support the idea sports and social activities have equal importance as classes and libraries so they should receice same financial support.

    First of all, sports can promote students’ physical health while adequate social activities can improve mental health means a person can endure high working tension. A recent news emphasizes the imporance of physical health and mental health. A graduate student murdered his boss because he was blamed of poor woking competence after a month’s high pressure work. He is exthusted and doesn’t have the ability of changing his emotion. Surely ,the student got good grades in classes but he didn’t cultivate the skills of releasing pressure and thinking form another perspective to adapt a more competitive environment when he was studying in college. This reminds as how important the physical health and mental health are.

    Secondly, sports and social activities can develop social skills which ensure students can develop a good relationship with not only their colleagues but also their bosses.For example, majority of the jobs today acquire staffs abilities of making friends.A healthy relationship will eliminate unnecessary barrier in communicating with thier colleagues. An outstanding staff also can persuade their costumers to give credence to them and than make their minds to trade with the company. This exactly what the employers needs to elevate profits. There is no doubt that a student are more likly to be accepted if he can take part in enough social activities after taking lectures which means he has the potential to strengthen the company’s competitiveness.

    In conclusion, universities should pay more attention on sports and social activities which means they are concerned about improving students future in addition to their academic level, consequently they should receive the same financial support.

    July 13, 2020 at 10:19 pm

    Score: 46

    Issues:

    1. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.