At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.
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July 21, 2020 at 1:14 am
At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.
Education is an important part in the society, people therefore pays a lot of attention on the budget of schools, especially universities. Some people suggest spending more money on sports and social activities, while others oppose it. To my perspective, sports and social activities are essential to the development of students, spending more money on these things will eventually benefit all undergraduates.
To begin with, sports can help students to develop a healthier body. Nowadays, the developing technology of internet and smartphone resulted in a far longer time students spent on electric devices, meaning that they are more likely to be nearsighted. The amount of university student wearing glasses can easily prove it. Exercising can not only relax students from working on computers and smartphones, but also beneficial to the eyes. Obesity is a serious problem among students, sports can help to lose weight efficiently. Some sports such as soccer and baseball requires teamwork, playing it often can foster the ability of team cooperation and team spirit.
Social activities can lead students to a wider world, making them easier to find jobs and get adapted to the society. Most students in universities are lack of the experiment in the society, so they might not be able to deal with the relationship with colleagues, boss and government staff. Such activities cannot solve the problem fully, but can at least avoid the students from being at a disadvantage when they first enter the companies.
People who suggests classes and library more important is mainly because the purpose of students is to study, and worries other activities would distract them. However, as far as I am concerned, students should balance relax and study together, otherwise the time they spend on studying would be ineffective. So why don’t they spend the time on relaxing on these activities, as such things would improve their ability in two dimensions?
In conclusion, financial support should be given on sports and social activities as much as class and libraries.
July 22, 2020 at 10:53 pmScore: ungraded
Issues:
- Many punctuation errors.
- Lots of preposition errors.
- Many pronouns are unclear (use nouns to replace unclear pronouns.)
- About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
July 24, 2020 at 1:59 pmEducation is an integral part in the society, people therefore pays a lot of attention on the budget of schools, especially universities. Some people suggest spending more money on sports and social activities, while others oppose it. To my perspective, sports and social activities are essential to the development of students, spending more money on these things will eventually benefit them.
First of all, sports can help students to be healthier. Nowadays, the internet and smartphones result in a far longer time students spent on electric devices, meaning that they are more likely to be nearsighted. The amount of university student wearing glasses can easily prove it. Not only can exercising relax students from working on computers and smartphones, but also beneficial to their eyes. Obesity is a serious problem among students, but sports can help to lose weight efficiently. Some ball games such as soccer and baseball requires teamwork, playing it often can foster the ability of team cooperation and team spirit.
Social activities can lead students to a wider world, making them easier to find jobs and get adapted to the society. Most students in universities are lack of the life experience. Therefore they might not know how to maintain a good relationship with their colleagues. Although such activities cannot solve the problem, but can at least avoid the students from being at a disadvantage in their work.
Some people suggest study and libraries are more important, this is because they believe sports and social activities will distract students from study. However, as far as I am concerned, students should balance relaxation and studying, therefore the time they spend on academic work would be more effective. For example, when I kept working for several hours, I would prefer to go running outside. Running can relax myself and ensure the following hours to be more efficient. So exercising will not distract students from studying, but in contrast improve their efficiency.
In conclusion, financial support should be given on sports and social activities as much as class and libraries.
July 24, 2020 at 8:39 pmScore: 56.2
Issues:
- Punctuations (comma vs semicolon).
- Unclear pronouns (i.e. it). Replace unclear pronouns with nouns).
- About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- About 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
