Statement of Purpose for UCLA master of Computer Science

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  • JasmineZihan
    University: Communication University of China
    Nationality: China
    September 29, 2019 at 9:28 am

    Statement of Purpose for UCLA master of Computer Science

    We are currently in an era that the computational revolution has changed our lives to a great extent. When I was a teenager, the Internet began to catch people’s eyes and gradually become popular. I was amazed at the process of getting in touch with the world through a tiny screen. Watching movies without going to the cinema, chatting with strangers on the other side of the world: these all seem like magic to me. Therefore, I picked Computer Science as my major in college without hesitation. My enthusiasm lasts and I find I have just got to know the tip of icebergs, so I eager to go further and dig deeper in this field.

    I am always attracted by the advanced technology and free academic atmosphere of US, it’s a place where has countless possibility for advancements, infinite opportunity for dreams and unlimited scope for creativity. I, fortunately, grabbed the chance to take summer school at UCLA. Even before I went, I was impressed by the flexible of the course selection which did not have endless rules but gave students enough freedom to select courses based on their interests. I was even allowed to attend courses at a higher level. Thanks to the system, I was able to schedule my own plan and devoted myself to study. Though I had to review after classes and work on assignments until midnight, I didn’t feel exhausted at all, instead, I was unparalleled satisfied. I was grateful to every teacher I met at UCLA, they brought me a truly different experience. They made the obstacle knowledge vivid and made me focus each single seconds. Besides, I learned more from the assignments which encourage me to explore deeply and think independently. It turns abstract concepts into concrete results, such as developing small games, crawling real data from websites and giving feedback in a report. I was taught that the highest achievement of knowledge in solving practical problems and creating value. I almost immediately fell in love with such an environment where everyone is friendly and full of vigor, the climate is suitable with great point of view, high academic standards combined with rich activities. I sincerely hope to continue my study and chase my dream here.

    This experience abroad helps me realize that I was not that into information security and understand that I should figure out where my passion lays as soon as possible. Developing a program with my friends became my guiding light. The project is to establish an interactive platform provides users with professional food safety information to ensure users’ health. I encountered so many problems in the process – how to render pages and acquire data, how to solve JavaScript confusion on websites and crawl the data we need, how to ensure accuracy of search results – which struck me a lot. However, suffering made us stronger. By collecting materials, referring to previous cases, and experimenting constantly, we solved them one by one. We used official API to achieve real-time interaction, used Selenium Library simulating browser environment to bypass the anti-crawl mechanism, configured Solr first then connected MySQL database and added a Chinses word-breaker to better understand user input. When our product was finally put into use, we learned that it did meet our intentions – there were feedbacks that users avoid eating unhealthy food containing excessive additives through our query platform. At that moment, I suddenly found the meaning and direction of my efforts. It is my desire to gain exposure to the software industry, and it is my duty to contribute my meager strength to people’s more convenient lifestyle.

    Once found the way forward, I decided to build a ladder for my dream. Therefore, I tried hard to get an internship in Beijing ByteDance Technology. While after starting work, I realized that the actual engineering development process is completely different from what I imagined. Using mature frameworks skillfully, front-end and back-end interactions of server, merging individual code into the main branch, etc. These were all technique I have not learned before but extremely significant. I had to master various developing skills and learn to cooperate with team members in a short period. It is hard and tiring, but I learned from mistakes and grew fast. I upgraded my skills and understand how essential to think from the perspective of a customer. A successful product requires people from a different position to work together. I notice that I am still immature in many aspects, so I think the curriculum of UCLA will allow me to consolidate the fundamental knowledge and improve my professionalism as well. This will provide me with a better chance to enter in and contribute to an influential company.

    Even encyclopedic, it is pointless until you put knowledge into use. I sincerely hope that a product I engaged in development can improve others’ lives or solve practical problems for them. Maybe it might arise some kids’ interests, and grow up as a member of this industry, just like little me who immersed in various kinds of novel applications. I am ready to fight for my future and would always be hopeful.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    October 2, 2019 at 8:14 pm

    Statement of Purpose for UCLA master of Computer Science

    Score: 58.5

    Technical Issues:

    1. Your essay is wordy; shorten it to 500 – 600 words;
    2. Restrict each paragraph to 100 words;
    3. Shorten/split most sentences exceeding 20 words;
    4. Reduce the number of passive voices;
    5. Avoid starting a sentence using the same word for consecutive sentences.

    Student’s Essay

    We are currently in an era that the computational revolution has changed our lives to a great extent. When I was a teenager, the Internet began to catch people’s eyes and gradually become popular. I was amazed at the process of getting in touch with the world through a tiny screen. Watching movies without going to the cinema, chatting with strangers on the other side of the world: these all seem like magic to me. Therefore, I picked Computer Science as my major in college without hesitation. My enthusiasm lasts and I find I have just got to know the tip of icebergs, so I eager to go further and dig deeper in this field.

    Below is the revision of the first paragraph. I only made grammatical/syntactic/factual/logical changes; the content and structure remain no change. I recommend you to rewrite the 1st paragraph by including sophisticated content. The content you chose won’t impress the admissions committee. 

    The computational revolution has changed our lives significantly in recent decades. When I was a teenager, the internet began to increasingly gain popularity. I was amazed by the prospects of communicating with the world through a tiny screen. Watching movies without going to the cinema, chatting with strangers on the other side of the world: these all seemed like magic to me. Therefore, I selected Computer Science as my undergraduate major without hesitation. My academic enthusiasm has continued and I feel that I have only experienced the tip of the technological iceberg, so to speak. As such, I am committed to further exploration in this field.


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