Students study many or three to four subjects

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Students study many or three to four subjects

  • nifeng0721
    University: Sun Yat-sen University
    Nationality: China
    April 4, 2019 at 12:20 pm

    TOPIC: Do you agree or disagree: the high school students are required to study many different subjects at the same time or they should only study three or four subjects at a time?

    I believe, for high-school students, studying extensive academic subjects benefits them more than limiting to several specific disciplines.

    No doubt, focusing on limited subjects allows students to abtain profound, specialized knowledge. However, high-school education should be an important stage for students to develope in an all-around way. In this pespective, studying extensive disciplines plays serve both specific and genetal fuctions.

    Firstly, studying broad arouse each student’s interests of exploring specific fields, which benefit them in a long term. As we known, interest is the best teacher. For teenagers in high-school, restricting on few subjects will sooner or later result in boredom. On the contrary, through exploring different subjects, we will know well about what we are good at and interested in. Preparing for our adept things, making an ideal judgement before entering universities and selecting majar become more easier. For me, I has been interested in social science from high school and even choose management, a synthesized social science, as my major. Now, I still scoop knowledge of this field and determine my career future on which are arising from it. In a short, learning various disciplines opens high possibility for students to find their interests and develop their full potentials.

    Moreover, the biggest initiative of high-school education is to help students obtain the common knowledge of life and science. Such elementary sciences, including physics, biology, geology and history, offer us a rich understanding of daily phenomenon. For example, why do plants grow and flowers bloom? Why does a day have 24 hours? And, why are male and female different? We can gain these answers through studying various curriculums rather than only three or four subjects. These life sciences pave the path for us to gain an all-sided comprehension about this world rather than one-sided ones. A proper knowledge base also benefit us in a lifetime no matter what professions we are in.

    Further reading: https://writersforme.com/forums/forum/graduate-program-analysis/

    April 4, 2019 at 4:29 pm

    Hi,

    Thank you for submitting your essay. Please re-write your essay based on the feedback below and then re-submit your essay.

    “The copy scores 45.1 in the test, which is considered difficult to read. Try to make shorter sentences, using less difficult words to improve readability.

    Sentence length: 68.8% of the sentences contain more than 20 words, which is more than the recommended maximum of 25%. Try to shorten the sentences.

    Good results (4)

    Passive voice: You’re using enough active voice. That’s great!

    Consecutive sentences: There is enough variety in your sentences. That’s great!

    Paragraph length: None of the paragraphs are too long. Great job!

    Transition words: Well done!”

    Best wishes,

    Lin Qiu

    nifeng0721
    University: Sun Yat-sen University
    Nationality: China
    April 13, 2019 at 1:55 pm

    Personally, for high-school students, studying extensive academic subjects benefits them more than limiting to several specific disciplines.

    Admittedly, focusing on limited subjects helps students to explore certain fields deeper, and get profound comprehension on these courses. However, high-school education should be an important stage for students to development in an all-around way. In this way, studying extensive disciplines plays this role in every teenager’s growth.

    Firstly, studying broad subjects arouse students’ interest of exploring different fields in a short term, as well as benefit them in a long term. For teenagers in high-school, restricting on few subjects will sooner or later result in boredom. As we known, interest is the best teacher. In the course of exploring different subjects, we can know well about what we are good at and interested in, so we could make an ideal judgement before entering universities. For me, I has been interested in social science from high school and even choose management, a synthesized social science, as my major. Now, I still scoop knowledge of this field and determine my career future on which are arising from it. As a result, various disciplines in high school opens high possibility for many students to find their interests and develop their full potentials.

    Moreover, the biggest initiative of high-school education is to help students obtain the common knowledge of life and science. Such elementary sciences, including physics, biology, geology, history and so on, offer us a rich understanding of daily phenomenon. For example, why do plants grow and flowers bloom? Why does a day have 24 hours? And, why are male and female different? We can gain these answers through studying various curriculum rather than only three or four subjects. These life sciences definitely benefit us in a lifetime no matter what professions we are in and pave the path for us to know well about this world rather than partly.

    April 13, 2019 at 2:54 pm

    SCORE

    56.3

    PROBLEMS

    • A large number of sentences exceeds 20 words;
    • A large number of grammatical errors;
    • Excessive use of passive-voice sentences (reduce to less than 5%);
    • Excessive use of adverbs (either remove unnecessary adverbs or substitute them with forceful verbs);
    • Convention errors (check sentence spacing);
    • Vocabulary/Variety (avoid using the same words/expressions)

    GOOD POINTS

    1. Sentence flow: Great!
    2. Paragraph Lenth: Great!
    3. Transition Words:  Great

    Please rewrite and re-upload your essay.

    Best wishes,

    Lin Qiu

    nifeng0721
    University: Sun Yat-sen University
    Nationality: China
    April 14, 2019 at 3:41 pm

    I believe, for high-school students, studying extensive academic subjects benefits them more than limiting to several specific disciplines.

    No doubt, focusing on limited subjects allows students to abtain profound, specialized knowledge. However, high-school education should be an important stage for students to develope in an all-around way. In this pespective, studying extensive disciplines plays serve both specific and genetal fuctions.

    Firstly, studying broad arouse each student’s interests of exploring specific fields, which benefit them in a long term. As we known, interest is the best teacher. For teenagers in high-school, restricting on few subjects will sooner or later result in boredom. On the contrary, through exploring different subjects, we will know well about what we are good at and interested in. Preparing for our adept things, making an ideal judgement before entering universities and selecting majar become more easier. For me, I has been interested in social science from high school and even choose management, a synthesized social science, as my major. Now, I still scoop knowledge of this field and determine my career future on which are arising from it. In a short, learning various disciplines opens high possibility for students to find their interests and develop their full potentials.

    Moreover, the biggest initiative of high-school education is to help students obtain the common knowledge of life and science. Such elementary sciences, including physics, biology, geology and history, offer us a rich understanding of daily phenomenon. For example, why do plants grow and flowers bloom? Why does a day have 24 hours? And, why are male and female different? We can gain these answers through studying various curriculums rather than only three or four subjects. These life sciences pave the path for us to gain an all-sided comprehension about this world rather than one-sided ones. A proper knowledge base also benefit us in a lifetime no matter what professions we are in.

    April 15, 2019 at 10:25 pm

    This essay scores 54.6. Grammatical errors can reduce your score for at least 5 points.

    nifeng0721
    University: Sun Yat-sen University
    Nationality: China
    April 16, 2019 at 7:17 am

    I believe, for high-school students, studying extensive academic subjects benefits them more than limiting to several specific disciplines.

    Firstly, studying broadly arouses student’s interests of exploring specific fields, which benefits them in the long term. As we know, interest is the best teacher. For teenagers in high school, restricting on few subjects will sooner or later result in boredom. On the contrary, through exploring different subjects, we will know well about what we are good at and interested in. With a good self-assessment, making an ideal judgement before entering universities and selecting major become easier. For me, I have been interested in social science from high school and chose management, a synthesized social science, as my major. Now, I do well in this field and even determine to start my career future on which arise from it. In short, learning various disciplines opens high possibility for students to find their interests and develop their full potentials.

    Moreover, the biggest initiative of high-school education is to help students obtain the common knowledge of life and science. Such elementary sciences, including physics, biology, geology and history, offer us a rich understanding of daily phenomenon. For example, why do plants grow and flowers bloom? Why does a day have 24 hours? And, why are male and female different? We can gain answers through studying various courses rather than only three or four subjects. These life sciences pave the way for us to gain an all-sided comprehension about this world rather than one-sided ones. A comprehensive knowledge base also benefits us in a lifetime no matter what professions we are in.

    Admittedly, focusing on limited subjects allows students to obtain profound, specialized knowledge. However, high-school education should be an important stage for students to develop in an all-round way. From this perspective, studying extensive disciplines serves both specific and general functions.

    April 16, 2019 at 3:45 pm

    Hi,

    Here is your edited essay.

    https://writersforme.com/nifeng-toefl-essay-20190415/

    Best regards,

    Lin Qiu