Teachers’ salaries should be based on their students’ academic performance. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. GRE Writing Teachers’ salaries should be based on their students’ academic performance. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons.

  • qiulu
    University: South China University of Technology
    Nationality: China
    January 29, 2021 at 5:57 am

    Teachers’ salaries should be based on their students’ academic performance. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons.

    Nowadays people attach great importance to education. Education administration is sparing no effort to improve the efficiency and quality of teaching, implementing some new policies to pursue this goal. The prompt recommends that teachers’ wages should be dependent on the academic performance of their students. I strongly disagree with this proposition for the following two reasons.

    To begin, it is quite absurd to base a teacher’s teaching effectiveness solely on the scores of her students, because students’ performance in examinations is a complex matter that involves several factors. The original abilities and talents of students can largely affect the academic performance. For instance, an English teacher is asked to teach two classes named A and B. Class A is consist of students with better original English ability than those in Class B. Consequently, it is really hard to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of the English teacher when students from Class A and Class B score differently in examinations. This problem seems even more complicated when we consider the situation of a new teacher. It is unfair to distribute low salaries to the new teacher based on the possible poor academic performance of her students, because it takes time for the students in her class to get accustomed to the new teaching style. Neglecting other possible factors and basing teachers’ salaries simply on students’ scores is an irrational choice that will lead to unfairness and bitterness among teachers, which is not beneficial for the quality of education in the long run.

    Further, basing a teacher’s salaries solely on her students’ academic performance can put a great pressure on students, because a teacher might urge her students to do great number of exercises to improve their grades in a short time. There is an ancient fable in China called ’To Pull up the Seedlings to Help Them Grow’, which tells the story about a farmer who pulled up the seedlings wishing to get good harvest in a short time. In the fable, the seedlings of the farmers all died in the end, which tells us that we should obey the rule of nature. The same is with education, when a teacher pushes her students too hard in chasing for better academic performance and higher salaries will probably create a group of stressful students and even elicit a hatred towards study among her students.

    Some people may argue that connecting teachers’ salaries with academic performance of their students can give motivations to the teachers to some extent. However, education should never be a lucrative career when teachers are chasing after money and fame, because in this way, the students are never truly educated.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 29, 2021 at 9:00 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them.
    2. About 30% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. 
    3. Lengthy paragraphs. Restrict each paragraph to 110 words.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 1, 2021 at 7:54 pm

    With the growing recognition of the significance of education, department of education is sparing no effort to improve the efficiency and quality of teaching, implementing some new policies to pursue this goal. The prompt recommends that teachers’ wages should be dependent on the academic performance of their students. I disagree with this proposition for the following two reasons.

    To begin with, it is quite absurd to base a teacher’s teaching effectiveness solely on the scores of her students because students’ performance in examinations is an intricate matter that involves several factors. The original abilities and talents of students can affect their academic performance to a large extent. For instance, when two classes taught by the same teacher score differently in a test, it is hard to judge the teaching effectiveness of the teacher because the intelligence and maturity level of the students have to be taken into account. This problem seems even more complicated when we consider the situation of a new teacher. It is unfair to distribute low salaries to the new teacher based on her students’ possible poor academic performance because it takes time for her students to get accustomed to the unfamiliar teaching style. Neglecting other potential factors and basing teachers’ salaries directly on students’ scores is an irrational choice that will lead to unfairness and bitterness among teachers, which is not beneficial for the quality of education in the long run.

    Further, basing a teacher’s salaries solely on her students’ academic performance can put great pressure on students because a teacher might urge her students to do huge number of exercises to improve their grades quickly. There is an ancient fable in China called To Pull up the Seedlings to Help Them Grow, which tells the story of a farmer who pulled up the seedlings wishing to get a good harvest in a short time. In the fable, the seedlings of the farmers all died in the end, which tells us that we should obey the rule of nature. The same is with education, when a teacher pushes her students too hard in chasing of better academic performance and higher salaries will probably create a group of stressful students and even elicit a hatred towards study among her students.

    Some people may argue that connecting teachers’ salaries with their students’ academic performance can give motivation to the teachers to some extent. However, education should never be a lucrative career when teachers are seeking after money and fame because in this way, the students can never receive sound education.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 1, 2021 at 8:04 pm

    Score: 47.5

    Issues:

    1. About 75% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. About 25% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing )
    3. Lengthy paragraphs; restrict each paragraph to 110 words. (GRE essay 110-word qualifies for non-software revision; 90- word applies to TOEFL/IELTS essay )

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 1, 2021 at 8:05 pm

    With the growing recognition of the significance of education, (department of education)[unclear/specify; lower/upper case  ] is sparing no effort to improve the efficiency[ wrong word ] and quality of teaching[ . ] , implementing[ This includes the implementation of ] some new policies to pursue[wrong word/achieve/accomplish/attain  ] this goal. The prompt recommends that teachers’ wages should be dependent on (the academic performance of their students)[students’ academic performance  ] . I disagree with this proposition for the following two reasons[summarize the reasons here  ] .

    To begin with, it is quite absurd to base [assessing  ] a teacher’s teaching effectiveness solely on the scores of her students [students’ grades  ][is a problematic measure.   ]  because [Since  ] students’ performance in examinations is an intricate matter that involves several factors. The original abilities and talents of students can affect their academic performance to a large extent. For instance, when two classes taught by the same teacher score differently in a test, it is hard to judge the teaching effectiveness of the teacher because the intelligence and maturity level of the students have to be taken into account. This problem seems even more complicated when we consider the situation of a new teacher. It is unfair to distribute low salaries to the new teacher based on her students’ possible poor academic performance because it takes time for her students to get accustomed to the unfamiliar teaching style. Neglecting other potential factors and basing teachers’ salaries directly on students’ scores is an irrational choice that will lead to unfairness and bitterness among teachers, which is not beneficial for the quality of education in the long run.

    Further, basing a teacher’s salaries solely on her students’ academic performance can put great pressure on students because a teacher might urge her students to do huge number of exercises to improve their grades quickly. There is an ancient fable in China called To Pull up the Seedlings to Help Them Grow, which tells the story of a farmer who pulled up the seedlings wishing to get a good harvest in a short time. In the fable, the seedlings of the farmers all died in the end, which tells us that we should obey the rule of nature. The same is with education, when a teacher pushes her students too hard in chasing of better academic performance and higher salaries will probably create a group of stressful students and even elicit a hatred towards study among her students.

    Some people may argue that connecting teachers’ salaries with their students’ academic performance can give motivation to the teachers to some extent. However, education should never be a lucrative career when teachers are seeking after money and fame because in this way, the students can never receive sound education.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 1, 2021 at 8:31 pm

    Partial revision [Please complete the revision to make your essay concise and clear.]