Technology creates more problems than it solves and may threaten or damage the quality of life.

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  • 1789847780
    University: HANYANG University
    Nationality: chinese
    January 20, 2021 at 1:34 pm

    Technology creates more problems than it solves and may threaten or damage the quality of life.

    In this society , it’s undoubted that people are enjoying the advantages of technology. However some people contend that technology creates more problems that it solves, posing a real threat to people’s lives. But I do not agree with that argument. I think even though technology may bring few problems, the level of living most lies with the advancement of technology.

    One of the most significant issues we are facing is the environmental pollution. Obviously, as the demand of energy exponentially increasing, the factory are firing more coals to get more sources of energy, which causes the environment problems like water and air contamination. Further, sometimes it may cause a far more serious crisis. For example, We gain a great amount of energy from nuclear, but there was an earthquake 9 magnitude leading to the leakage of nuclear, that for long we cannot clean up the pollution,damaging the local ecological environment. According to that ,it has yet been decided that this new technology whether is a blessing or curse.

    But we should not overlook the importance of the technology. New technology contributes a lot to our convenience and productivity. The technology of transportation support us lots of vehicles such like subway, airplane and train by which we would not worried about the bad weather due to these option. And the evolution of technology offers more chance to communicate. We can call the friends on the phone, update our daily life on social media like Facebook or Instagram. We could get a great glimpse of the culture of other country, broaden our horizon, eventually we could become a well-round person.

    In a conclusion, we should not simply judge technology as a good or bad stuff, only if we utilize efficiently and safely, can our society benefit a lot.

     

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 20, 2021 at 8:34 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them.
    2. Numerous grammatical errors.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    1789847780
    University: HANYANG University
    Nationality: chinese
    January 27, 2021 at 11:38 am

    technology creates more problems than it solves and may threaten or damage the quality of life.

    In this day and age, it’s undoubted that people are enjoying the advantages of technology. However, some people contend that technology creates more problems than it solves.it poses a real threat to people’s lives otherwise. But I do not agree with that argument. Even though technology may bring few problems, the level of living most lies with the advancement of technology.

    One of the most significant issues we are facing is environmental pollution.As the demand for energy exponentially increasing, factories are firing more coal to get more sources of energy, which causes environmental problems like water and air contamination. Further, sometimes it may cause a far more serious crisis. For example, We gain a great amount of energy from nuclear power, but there was an earthquake of 9 magnitude leading to the leakage of nuclear. And we haven’t been able to clean up the pollution for long , damaging the local ecological environment. According to that , it has yet been decided whether this new technology is a blessing or curse.

    But we should not overlook the importance of technology. New technology contributes a lot to our convenience and productivity. The technology of transportation supports us with lots of vehicles, such as subway, airplanes and trains, by which we would not be worried about the bad weather due to these options. And the evolution of technology offers more chances to communicate. We can call friends on the phone, update our daily life on social media like Facebook or Instagram. We could get a great glimpse of the culture of other countries, broaden our horizon, eventually we could become a well-round person.

    In conclusion, we should not simply judge technology as good or bad stuff. Only if we utilize that efficiently and safely, can our society benefit a lot.

     

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 27, 2021 at 10:53 pm

    (In this day and age)[ wordy ], it[unclear pronoun  ]’s[informal  ] undoubted that people are enjoying the advantages of technology. However, (some people contend that technology creates more problems than it solves)[repetition of the topic  ].it[ Spelling error/unclear pronoun ] poses a real threat to people’s lives otherwise[unclear adverb  ]. But I do not agree with that[this  ] argument. Even though technology may bring few[ article error ] problems,( the level of living most lies with the advancement of technology)[  unclear].

    One of the most significant issues we are facing is environmental pollution.As the demand for energy exponentially increasing, factories are firing more coal to get more sources of energy, which causes environmental problems like water and air contamination. Further, sometimes it may cause a far more serious crisis. For example, We gain a great amount of energy from nuclear power, but there was an earthquake of 9 magnitude leading to the leakage of nuclear. And we haven’t been able to clean up the pollution for long , damaging the local ecological environment. According to that , it has yet been decided whether this new technology is a blessing or curse.

    But we should not overlook the importance of technology. New technology contributes a lot to our convenience and productivity. The technology of transportation supports us with lots of vehicles, such as subway, airplanes and trains, by which we would not be worried about the bad weather due to these options. And the evolution of technology offers more chances to communicate. We can call friends on the phone, update our daily life on social media like Facebook or Instagram. We could get a great glimpse of the culture of other countries, broaden our horizon, eventually we could become a well-round person.

    In conclusion, we should not simply judge technology as good or bad stuff. Only if we utilize that efficiently and safely, can our society benefit a lot.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 27, 2021 at 10:58 pm

    Partial revision [All sentences are problematic.]