Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with?

  • metta23
    University: Sun Yat-sen University
    Nationality: China
    March 22, 2021 at 2:54 pm

    Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with?

    With the advent of the information age, the internet is widely applied across the globe. Nowadays, there is a discussion about whether the internet affords more valuable information or creates problems. As for me, I think the internet gives us more access to useful information than negative information.

    Firstly, news reports on the internet informed people about what’s happening around the world. Today, Numerous news are available on the internet, which is so convenient for people to access. In the past, people had to read the newspaper or listen to the radio to get the latest news about the local and world news. However, since the news was only published daily in newspapers and broadcasted by radio only at a specific time, people cannot keep updated.  With the internet, people have an opportunity to get ample first-hand information in the first moments of events happening. To be specific, the world-renowned newspapers like the New York Times or The Washington Post have the online version, and well-known tv stations, such as BBC or CNN, can be watched online anytime. Therefore, people can receive various information from international politics to vegetable prices in the local market via the internet.

    Secondly, businessmen have more chances to do business because of information on the internet. All kinds of business activities require business information about who are the potential consumers or where to put their ads, and things like that. These are the crucial information to their business. Nowadays, the company can obtain this information from the internet. By Big Data Analysis technology, the businessman can search for the information and analyze them to make their best decisions. For example, a shopping platform called “Taobao” provides a sea of data from the market. It spurs the economy booming, helping many people who are doing their business online make profits.

    Admittedly, there is still some negative information online, such as fake news or rumors. However, with increasingly stricter regulation from the government, it can minimize the negative impact.

    To sum up, the advantages of positive information brought by the internet outweighed the negative information online.

    March 22, 2021 at 3:35 pm

    Score: 52

    Issues:

    1. Lots of grammatical errors;
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision ).

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    metta23
    University: Sun Yat-sen University
    Nationality: China
    March 23, 2021 at 7:48 am

    With the advent of the information age, the internet is widely applied across the globe. All kinds of information are available online. Some people claim that it provides more valuable information, while others believe it creates more problems. In my opinion, the internet gives us more access to helpful information rather than negative ones.

    First, news reports online keep people informed about what’s happening around the world. Today, Endless news is available online for people to get any time. In the past, people had to get the latest local news and world news by reading newspapers or listening to the radio. It’s hard to keep updated since the news is published only daily or broadcasted at a specific time. With the internet, people have an opportunity to get ample first-hand information as soon as possible. To be precise, the world-renowned newspapers, like the New York Times or The Washington Post, have their online version, and well-known TV stations, such as BBC or CNN, offer news online. Thus, people can receive various information, from international politics to local vegetable prices online.

    Second, online information benefit business. All kinds of business activities require information about potential consumers and the market. These are vital to their success. Nowadays, the company can get information from the internet. With Big Data Analysis technology, the businessman can search and analyze the information to make their best decisions. For example, a shopping platform called “Taobao” provides a sea of data of the market. By full use of online information, sellers make profits, and the economy is booming.

    Although, negative information, such as fake news or rumors, is also filled online. But the negative impact will be minimized eventually by stricter regulation from the government.

    To sum up, the internet promotes the flow of information, bringing more benefit to people’s life. Thus, the advantages of the internet outweighed its harmful effect.

    March 23, 2021 at 8:14 pm

    With the advent of the information age, [ logical confusion with the prior clause  ]the internet is widely applied across the globe. All kinds of information are available online[zero-conditional   ]. Some people claim that it[ unclear pronoun  ] provides more valuable information, while others believe it[unclear pronoun   ] creates more problems. In my opinion, the internet gives us (more access to helpful information rather than negative ones)[problematic comparison   ].

    First, news reports online keep people informed about [ /of  ]what’s happening around the world. Today, Endless[ spelling error  ] news is available online for people to get [preposition error   ]any time. In the past, people had to get the[ article error  ] latest local news and world news by reading newspapers or listening to the radio. It’s[ unclear pronoun + grammatical error  ] hard to keep updated since the news is [ grammatical error  ]published only daily or broadcasted at a specific time. With the internet, people have an opportunity to [readily   ]get ample first-hand information as soon as possible. To be precise, the world-renowned newspapers, like the New York Times or The Washington Post, have their online version[ word form error  ], and[. Similarly,   ] well-known TV stations, such as BBC or [wrong preposition   ]CNN, offer news online. Thus, people can receive (various information)[  grammatical error ],[ ranging  ] from international politics to local vegetable prices online.

    Second, online information benefit[ grammatical error  ] business. All kinds of business activities require information about potential consumers and the market. These are vital to their [unclear pronoun   ]success. Nowadays, the[ article error  ] company can get information from the internet. With[unclear preposition   ] (Big Data Analysis)[ upper case/word form errors  ] technology, the[article error   ] businessman can search and analyze the information to make their best decisions. For example, a shopping platform called “Taobao” provides a sea of data of [ /concerning  ]the market. (By full use of online information)[ wordy  ], sellers make profits, and the economy is booming.

    Although, negative information, such as fake news or rumors, is also filled online[ grammatical error  ]. But [ grammatical error  ]the negative impact will be minimized eventually by (stricter regulation from the government)[ confusing  ].

    To sum up, the internet promotes the flow of information, bringing more benefit[ word form error  ] to people’s life[ word form error unless the life is shared by all  ]. Thus, the advantages of the internet outweighed[ grammatical error  ] its harmful effect[word form error   ].