The ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make many new friends easily.

Score: 69.2

Issues:

1. More than 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them and reduce the percentage to 15% or less.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

Score: 69.8

Final Revision

Friendships are essential to one’s mental health. Maintaining relationships with old friends gives people support in times of difficulty, [ punctuation error ] while making new friends is a precious opportunity to explore different things. In my opinion, the ability to maintain friendships and the ability to make new friends are of equal importance for attaining happiness.

First of all, it is pleasant to maintain friendships with others for a long time. Since you have known each other for years, you are familiar with others’ personalities and habits. As such, it It is much easier for you to stay together and enjoy yourselves, like having afternoon tea, drinking in your favorite bars and doing some sports, etc. Whenever you feel disappointed or frustrated, you can turn to your friends. Often, they can offer the best comfort and makes you happy again. Also, old friends usually have a lot of beautiful memories together[ unclear ]. It[ unclear pronoun ] makes people feel relaxed to recall these lovely moments, especially with the same friends.

Though maintaining old friends is quite important, we cannot neglect the significance of making new friends. If one has the ability to make new friends easily, he is more likely to get in touch with different fields. Thus, he may live an enriched life and feel happier. When I went to university, I immediately made a new friend who is[ grammatical error ] good at sports. He introduced his interests and opened a door for me. In the past, I was totally a couch potato. But with the encouragement of him, I developed my interests in sports and had a healthier life. Whenever I have difficulties in my life, I will do some exercise, releasing stress.

In summary, it is significant for people to have the ability to keep friendships with old friends and the ability to make new friends because both old and new friends are treasures in our lives. Only with the company of friends, can we live a happy and meaningful life.