Which do you think is the best way for a student to make friends: 1. joining a sports team 2. participating in community activities 3. traveling? Use specific examples to support your answer.
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July 15, 2020 at 4:39 pm
Which do you think is the best way for a student to make friends: 1. joining a sports team 2. participating in community activities 3. traveling? Use specific examples to support your answer.
It is extensively accepted that people are in pursuit of a real friendship in this day and age. In the meantime, the issue which is the best way for a student to make friends has become the object for an intense debate among people. Some may hold that participating in community activities or travelling together certainly would achieve that. However, I disagree with their statement, and I contend that joining a sports team would be the best choice.
One of the primary reasons is that a common organization provides students easy access to having enough time to get along with each other. A sports team in the school, enable them to train together, race together and communicate with each other. Under this premise, it would be quiet easy to build a strong friendship with teammates once you have a common goal and the same competitors.
Admittedly, some people clam that the other two options also offer chances for students to stay together. However, the advantages of joining a sports team carry more weight than those of the two options.
Also another key factor keeps on reminding us that the sports team is the most suitable way for students to make friends. Under the pressure of exams and the restriction of school diciplines, travelling and taking part in community activities could barely happen except during the holidays in which your classmates may have different schedules. On the contrary, team sports itself are a part of school life and you could play basketball with your teammates after class in almost everyday.
Based on what I have elaborated above, we can easily come to a conclusion that it is better to make friends by joining a sports team for students.
July 22, 2020 at 10:24 pmScore: ungraded
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
July 23, 2020 at 1:28 pmIt is extensively accepted that people are in pursuit of friendship in this day and age. In the meantime, the issue, which is the best way to make friends has aroused a debate among people. Some may hold that participating in community activities or traveling together certainly would achieve that. However, I disagree with their statement, and I contend that joining a sports team would be the best choice.
One of the primary reasons is that a collective organization provides students easy access to having enough time to get along with. A sports team in the school, allows them to train together, race together and communicate with each other. Under this premise, it would be quite easy to build a strong friendship with teammates once you have a common goal and the same competitors.
Admittedly, some people claim that the other two options also offer chances for students to stay together. However, the advantages of joining a sports team carry more weight than those of the two options.
Also, another considerable factor keeps on reminding us that the sports team is the most suitable way for students to make friends. Under the pressure of exams and the restriction of school disciplines, traveling or participating community activities could barely happen except during the holidays in which your classmates may have different schedules. On the contrary, team sports itself are a part of school life, and you could play basketball with your teammates after class almost every day.
Based on what I have elaborated above, it can be concluded that it is better to make friends by joining a sports team for students.
July 24, 2020 at 9:00 pmScore: ungraded
Issues:
- About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- Lots of sentences are verbose, and they don’t make sense.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
August 19, 2020 at 4:41 amI think joining a sports team is the best choice. Considering the identity of students, their ways of making new friends should be reliable and safe enough. For adults, taking part in community activities or travelling with people may be helpful to build relationships. But for students, who are usually young and emotionally immature, they could be cheated by strangers easily in that case. While in a sports team, they don’t have to suffer such risks because of the healthy environment provided by school or public organization.
The fact that people tend to keep silent in front of strangers makes it difficult to break the gap among individuals. But it wouldn’t be a problem in a sports team as long as they want to win the game. Team sports cannot be played by one individual ‘s effort. Students must communicate and cooperate with each other to carry out the strategies. Trust is built once they ask teammates to cover their back and help them to finish the move. And if people trust each other, it means that they are ready to be friends.
Also, another considerable factor keeps on reminding us that the sports team could improve students’ performance to make friends. With the development of the Internet, many students hide themselves at home and indulge in the virtual world. That often results in an isolation from the society. Take my brother as an example. He used to be a problem student for teachers because he was a computer game addict with learning disorder. None of his classmates was willing to get along with him. But things changed after he joined the basketball team. The coach and his teammates made him a reliable player on the court. He finally found his confidence back and built strong relationship with his teammates.
Based on what I have elaborated above, it can be concluded that it is better to make friends by joining a sports team for students.
August 19, 2020 at 12:44 pmScore: 74.4
Issues:
- About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
- Article errors
- Verb tense errors
- Word choice errors
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
August 19, 2020 at 4:12 pmWhich do you think is the best way for a student to make friends: 1. joining a sports team 2. participating in community activities 3. traveling? Use specific examples to support your answer.
I think joining a sports team is the best choice. Considering (the identity of students)[ unclear ], (their ways) [ logical confusion in response to ‘considering’ ] of making new friends should be reliable and safe enough[unclear ]. For adults, taking part in community activities or travelling [ spelling error ]with people may be helpful to build relationships. But for students, who are usually young and emotionally immature, they could be cheated by strangers easily[ misplaced ] in that case[unclear phrase ]. While in a sports team, they[unclear pronoun ] don’t have to suffer such risks because of the healthy environment provided by [ article error ]school or public organization.
The fact that people tend to keep[ Although remaining ]silent in front of strangers makes it difficult to break the gap among individuals. But[ , ]it wouldn’t be a problem in a sports team as long as they want to win the game[ unsubstantiated evidence ]. Team sports (cannot be played) [passive ] by one individual ‘s effort[ confusing ]. [lack of transitory word ] Students must communicate and cooperate with each other to carry outthe[ article error ][ winning ] strategies. Trust is built once they[unclear pronoun ] ask teammates to cover their back and help them to finish the[ article error ] move. And if people trust each other, (it means that)[ redundant ] they are ready to be friends.Also[ Redundant ], another considerable factor keeps on reminding us that the sports team could improve students’ performance to make friends[ wordy/unclear ]. With the development of the Internet, many students (hide themselves [redundant ]at home)[hunker down at home ]
and[ to ]indulge in the virtual world. That [unclear pronoun ]often results in an [ article error ]isolation from the society. Take my brother as an example. He used to be a problem student for teachers because he was a computer (game addict with learning disorder)[unclear ]. None of his classmates was willing to get along with him. But things changed after he joined the basketball team. The coach and his teammates made him a reliable player on the court. He finally found his confidence back and built[ article error ] strong relationship with his teammates.Based on what I have elaborated above, it can be concluded[ passive ] that it is better to make friends by joining a sports team
for students.August 28, 2020 at 3:35 pmI think joining a sports team is the best choice. Considering students are usually lack of social experience, how to keep their own safety when socializing should be the critical issue. For adults, taking part in community activities or traveling with people may be helpful to build relationships. But for students, who are usually emotionally immature and lack of social experience, they could be easily cheated by strangers with malicious intentions. Such risks are apparently unacceptable for students’ guardians. Under this premise, the healthy environment provided by the school or public organization in the sports team becomes highly precious for students.
Furthermore, a good sport player is generally popular among students. Since last century, the notion of modern sports spread from the western world to China led to the admiration for powerful physiques, the number of young people enrolling the gyms has risen quickly. The results are visible in schools throughout the nation. Becoming the center of attention has not been a rare matter for a school basketball player with extraordinary skills. What’s more, strong leaderships and unyielding spirit players show in competitions also make them charming and charismatic.
Another considerable factor keeps on reminding us that the sports team could improve students’ performance. With the development of the Internet, hunkering down at home to indulge in the virtual world has become a common way to escape real human contact. This negative approach often results in social isolation. Take my brother as an example. He used to be a problem student for teachers because he was a computer game addict. None of his classmates was willing to get along with him. But things changed after he joined the basketball team. The coach and his teammates made him a reliable player on the court. He finally found his confidence back and built a strong relationship with his teammates.
Based on what I have elaborated above, we may reach the conclusion that it is better to make friends by joining a sports team.
August 28, 2020 at 6:16 pmWhich do you think is the best way for a student to make friends: 1. joining a sports team 2. participating in community activities 3. traveling? Use specific examples to support your answer.
I think joining a sports team is the best choice. Considering students (are usually lack of) [ grammatical error/absolute writing ] social experience, how to keep their own safety when socializing should be the critical issue[ grammatical error ]. For adults, taking part in community activities or traveling with people may (be helpful)[use active verb ] to build relationships[wrong word ]. But for students, who are usually emotionally immature and lack[ unparalleled ] of social experience[repetition ], they could be easily cheated by strangers with malicious intentions. Such risks are apparently unacceptable for students’ guardians[irrelevant ]. Under this premise[ unclear ], the[ article error ] healthy[ unclear word ] environment provided by the school or public organization( in the sports team)[ unclear ] becomes highly precious for students.
Furthermore, a good sport player is generally popular among students. Since last century, the notion of modern sports spread from the western world to China led to the admiration for powerful physiques, the number of young people enrolling the gyms has risen quickly. The results are visible in schools throughout the nation. Becoming the center of attention has not been a rare matter for a school basketball player with extraordinary skills. What’s more, strong leaderships and unyielding spirit players show in competitions also make them charming and charismatic.
Another considerable factor keeps on reminding us that the sports team could improve students’ performance. With the development of the Internet, hunkering down at home to indulge in the virtual world has become a common way to escape real human contact. This negative approach often results in social isolation. Take my brother as an example. He used to be a problem student for teachers because he was a computer game addict. None of his classmates was willing to get along with him. But things changed after he joined the basketball team. The coach and his teammates made him a reliable player on the court. He finally found his confidence back and built a strong relationship with his teammates.
Based on what I have elaborated above, we may reach the conclusion that it is better to make friends by joining a sports team.
August 28, 2020 at 6:23 pmI couldn’t complete the revision since all sentences are problematic.
