The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.
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February 18, 2020 at 9:48 am
The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.
On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the island’s moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville, when Seaville’s town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
At first sight of the recommendation, it seems reasonable that Balmer can reduce the number of moped accidents by limiting the number of rental mopeds with the example of Seaville. However, the recommendation relies on a series of logical flaw. In order to establish the recommendation better, some questions need to be addressed.
First, are the moped accidents serious problems in Balmer? Perhaps, it was only 4 moped accidents happened in Balmer last year and people who involved in accidents just got slightly hurt. Taking one step further, moped accidents are serious problems in Balmer. It sounds quite astonishing that the population will increase to 100000 during the summer months, but it does not tell us the raw number of the visitors. If only 100 visitors travel to the Balmer, there would be less rental moped accidents. Without answering the question above, there is unsound to reduce the number of rental mopeds.
Second, should all the rental mopeds be blamed for moped accidents? Are there no local residents riding mopeds? Maybe in most of moped accidents the local mopeds are the main factors , and the rental mopeds could be victims. In order to make the recommendation more convincing, the number of the local mopeds should be provided.
Third, can the editor ensure that halving the number of mopeds would halve the number of accidents? Is there strong connection between the number of the rental mopeds and the number of accidents. If after launching the law, there would be more accidents, because the local residents think the roads are safer enough to driving around. We need to more reliable information to ensure road will be safer after launching the law.
Finally, is Balmer and Seaville similar? Perhaps, Balmer is a popular visit place which attracts thousands of visitors during the summer months, and Seaville is only a small seaside village with bad traffic condition. As a result of this, it is imprudent to expect that the limit on the number of the rental mopeds can have the same effect on Balmer. Allowing the Balmer and Seaville have analogous natural and traffic condition, is the limit the only factor attributed to the decrease of the accidents? Maybe Seaville government also launched speed limit on moped and gave traffic education to moped drivers and pedestrians. Without knowing the specific condition between Balmer and Seaville, we can not have a more adroit conclusion.
In short, the question discussed above should be addressed in order to establish the recommendation better. Unless more reliable information about Balmer and Seaville is offered, we can not have a more prudent conclusion.
February 18, 2020 at 5:10 pmScore: ungraded
Issues:
- Nearly 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- Nearly 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
February 19, 2020 at 1:30 amAt first sight of the recommendation, it seems reasonable that Balmer can reduce the number of moped accidents by limiting the number of rental mopeds with the example of Seaville. However, the recommendation relies on a series of logical flaws. In order to establish the recommendation better, some questions need to be addressed.
First, are the moped accidents serious problems in Balmer? Perhaps, it was only four moped accidents which happened in Balmer last year, and people who involved in accidents just got slightly hurt. Taking one step further, moped accidents are serious problems in Balmer. It sounds quite astonishing that the population will increase to 100000 during the summer months, but it does not tell us the raw number of visitors. If only 100 visitors travel to the Balmer, there would be few rental moped accidents. Without answering the question above, there is unsound to reduce the number of rental mopeds.
Second, should all the rental mopeds be blamed for moped accidents? Are there no locals riding mopeds? Maybe in most of accidents the local mopeds are the main factors, and the rental mopeds could be victims. In order to make the recommendation more convincing, the number of local mopeds should be provided.
Third, can the editor ensure that halving the number of mopeds would halve the number of accidents? Is there strong connection between the number of rental mopeds and the number of accidents. If after launching the law, there would be more accidents, because the locals think the roads are safer enough to driving around. We need to more reliable information to ensure road will be safer after launching the law.
Finally, is Balmer and Seaville similar? Perhaps, Balmer is a popular visit place which attracts thousands of visitors during the summer months, and Seaville is only a small seaside village with bad transport. As a result of this, it is imprudent to expect that the limit on the number of rental mopeds can have the same effect on Balmer. Allowing the Balmer and Seaville have analogous natural and traffic condition, is the limit the only factor attributed to the decrease of the accidents? Maybe Seaville’s government also launched speed limit on mopeds and gave traffic education to moped drivers and pedestrians. Without knowing the specific condition between Balmer and Seaville, we can not have a more adroit conclusion.
In short, the question discussed above should be addressed in order to establish recommendation better. Unless more reliable information about Balmer and Seaville is offered, we can not have a more prudent conclusion.
February 19, 2020 at 8:15 pmScore: 61.7
Issues:
- Nearly 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- Nearly 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
February 20, 2020 at 12:52 amAt first sight of the recommendation, it seems reasonable that Balmer can reduce the number of moped accidents by limiting the number of rental mopeds with the example of Seaville. However, the recommendation relies on a series of logical flaws. In order to establish the recommendation better, some questions need to be addressed.
First, are the moped accidents serious problems in Balmer? Perhaps, it was only four moped accidents which happened in Balmer last year, and people who involved in accidents just got slightly hurt. Taking one step further, moped accidents are serious problems in Balmer. It sounds quite astonishing that the population will increase to 100000 during the summer months, but it does not tell us the raw number of visitors. If only 100 visitors travel to the Balmer, there would be few rental moped accidents. Without answering the question above, there is unsound to reduce the number of rental mopeds.
Second, should all the rental mopeds be blamed for moped accidents? Are there no locals riding mopeds? Maybe the local mopeds are the main factors in most of accidents, and the rental mopeds could be victims. In order to make the recommendation more convincing, the editor should provide the number of local mopeds.
Third, can the editor ensure that halving the number of mopeds would halve the number of accidents? Is there any strong connection between the number of rental mopeds and the number of accidents. If after launching the law, there would be more accidents, because the locals think the roads are safer enough to driving around. We need to more reliable information to ensure the roads will be safer after launching the law.
Finally, is Balmer and Seaville similar? Perhaps, Balmer is a popular visit place which attracts thousands of visitors during the summer months, and Seaville is only a small seaside village with bad transport. As a result of this, it is imprudent to expect that the limit on the number of rental mopeds can have the same effect on Balmer. Allowing the Balmer and Seaville have analogous natural and traffic condition, is the limit the only factor attributed to the decrease of the accidents? Maybe Seaville’s government also launched the speed limit on mopeds and gave traffic education to moped drivers and pedestrians. Without knowing the specific condition between Balmer and Seaville, we can not have a more adroit conclusion.
In short, the editor should address the questions above to establish the recommendation better. We can not have a prudent conclusion without more reliable information about Balmer and Seaville.
March 7, 2020 at 2:53 amScore: 61.5
Issues:
- Nearly 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- More than 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
March 7, 2020 at 8:46 amAt first sight of the recommendation, it seems reasonable that Balmer can reduce the number of moped accidents by limiting the number of rental mopeds. However, the recommendation relies on a series of logical flaws. In order to establish the recommendation better, some questions need to be addressed.
First, are the moped accidents serious problems in Balmer? Perhaps, it was only four moped accidents which happened in Balmer last year, and people who involved in accidents just got slightly hurt. Taking one step further, moped accidents are serious problems in Balmer. It sounds quite astonishing that the population will increase to 100000 during the summer months, but the raw number of visitors is missing. If only 100 visitors travel to the Balmer, there would be few rental moped accidents. Without answering the question above, there is unsound to reduce the number of rental mopeds.
Second, should all the rental mopeds be blamed for moped accidents? Are there no locals riding mopeds? Maybe the local mopeds are the main factors in most of accidents, and the rental mopeds could be victims. In order to make the recommendation more convincing, the editor should provide the number of local mopeds.
Third, can the editor ensure that halving the number of mopeds would halve the number of accidents? Is there any strong connection between the number of rental mopeds and the number of accidents? Maybe there would be more accidents after enacting the law, because the locals think the roads are safer enough to drive around. We need to more reliable information to ensure the roads will be safer after launching the law.
Finally, is Balmer and Seaville similar? Perhaps, Balmer is a popular visit place which attracts thousands of visitors during the summer months. By contrast, Seaville is only a small seaside village with bad transport. As a result of this, it is imprudent to expect that the limit on the number of rental mopeds can have the same effect on Balmer. Perhaps the Balmer and Seaville have analogous natural and traffic condition. Is the limit the only factor attributed to the decrease of the accidents? Maybe Seaville’s government also launched the speed limit on mopeds, and gave traffic education to moped drivers and pedestrians. Without knowing the specific condition between Balmer and Seaville, we can not have a more adroit conclusion.
In short, the editor should address the questions above to establish the recommendation better. We can not have a prudent conclusion without more reliable information about Balmer and Seaville.
March 20, 2020 at 1:14 amScore: 62.5
Issues:
- About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert them into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
March 20, 2020 at 3:25 pmAt first sight of the recommendation, it seems reasonable that Balmer can reduce the number of moped accidents by limiting the number of rental mopeds. However, the recommendation relies on a series of logical flaws. In order to establish the recommendation better, editor should address these questions.
First, are the moped accidents serious problems in Balmer? Perhaps, it was only four moped accidents which happened in Balmer last year, and people who involved in accidents just got slightly hurt. Taking one step further, moped accidents are serious problems in Balmer. It sounds quite astonishing that the population will increase to 100000 during the summer months, but arguer dose not offer the number of visitors. If only 100 visitors travel to the Balmer, there would be few rental moped accidents. Without answers to the question above, there is unsound to reduce the number of rental mopeds.
Second, should all the rental mopeds be blamed for moped accidents? Are there no locals riding mopeds? Maybe the local mopeds are the main factors in most of accidents, and the rental mopeds could be victims. In order to make the recommendation more convincing, the editor should provide the number of local mopeds.
Third, can the editor ensure that halving the number of mopeds would halve the number of accidents? Is there any strong connection between the number of rental mopeds and the number of accidents? Maybe there would be more accidents after enacting the law, because the locals think the roads are safer enough to drive around. We need to more reliable information to ensure the roads will be safer after launching the law.
Finally, is Balmer and Seaville similar? Perhaps, Balmer is a popular visit place, which attracts thousands of visitors during the summer months. By contrast, Seaville is only a small seaside village with bad transport. As a result of this, it is imprudent to expect that the limit on the number of rental mopeds can have the same effect on Balmer. Perhaps the Balmer and Seaville have analogous natural and traffic condition. Is the limit the only factor attributed to the decrease of the accidents? Maybe Seaville’s government imposed the speed limit on mopeds. Meanwhile it gave traffic education to moped drivers and pedestrians. Without knowing the specific condition between Balmer and Seaville, we can not have a more adroit conclusion.
In short, the editor should address the questions above to establish the recommendation better. We can not have a prudent conclusion without more reliable information about Balmer and Seaville.
