The government should require drivers to pay a fee to be allowed to drive on the city streets during the time when there is the greatest amount of traffic.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing The government should require drivers to pay a fee to be allowed to drive on the city streets during the time when there is the greatest amount of traffic.

  • catherien
    University: dalian university
    Nationality: China
    June 18, 2020 at 2:54 am

    The government should require drivers to pay a fee to be allowed to drive on the city streets during the time when there is the greatest amount of traffic.

    I strongly hold that the divers should pay a fee to utility city streets when the traffic jam is heavy. In my opinion, this policy has benefits for city transportation which could improve city traffic efficiency and decrease traffic noise and pollution.

    Firstly, traffic jam is a worldwide problem in recent years, especially in several developed countries and big cities. Indeed these countries already have input substantial resources and money on this problem, but there is little positive outcome. Actually, some economists posed a way to fix traffic jam from an economic perspective, they suggested that divers should pay some money on using city streets in a busy time. This advice helps to decrease greatly cars on the streets because those people that have no necessary to use their cars would save their money to stay at home. For instance, a girl wants to have a date or hang out with her friends, and she prefers to select a period of low traffic flow because the time is flexible and also save extra payment. So people will formulate their time using cars and choose other vehicles like buses and subways.

    Secondly, as I mentioned above, more and more people will formulate their time rationally and transform their vehicles. Then there will be fewer private cars or other vehicles on the streets, and no cars horn or make less noise. Besides if there are abundant people take public transportation, traffic pollution will also decrease. I read a traffic report about the proportion of cars on roads in a busy time after taking extra fees, and it told that private cars decrease 30 percent, so it hugely shortens the waiting time and reduces the frequency of hoot.

    Taking a fee from drivers when traffic jam is heavy may is not the best way to control the traffic jam, but it actually brings some advantages for the citizens and decreases the degree of traffic jam in some way.

    June 18, 2020 at 11:45 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Numerous grammatical errors;
    2. The topic sentence for 2nd/3rd paragraphs fails to directly echo the essay question. Rephrase the two topic sentences.
    3. About 55% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    catherien
    University: dalian university
    Nationality: China
    June 19, 2020 at 10:21 am

    Traffic jams are worldwide problems especially in big cities like New York, Beijing, Tokyo, and so on. So taking a charge from drivers in a busy time has benefits for city transportation, because this policy could improve city traffic efficiency. Moreover, It may decrease traffic pollution and noise.

    Firstly, taking a fee can decrease cars on the streets during rush hours. Imagine what people do when the traffic is heavy and they need to pay for using the streets. At this moment, they may change their schedules and choose a free period. For instance, a girl wants to have a date or hang out with her friends, and she prefers to select after 2 p.m. which traffic is moving quickly at this period. Moreover, some people are unwilling to pay an extra fee, which may stimulate them to use public transportation. It also helps to decrease the number of private cats on the streets.

    Secondly, as I mentioned above, people will lower the frequency of using cars and take public transportation. That may help to reduce traffic noise and pollution because the noise of hoots is also cut when the traffic jams are reduced. Let alone there are abundant people would take public transportation, traffic pollution will also decrease. Furthermore, some people buy a car out of convenience. If using their car in rush time will pay an extra fee, a lot of people do not continue to purchase a car. And fewer private cars means less use of oil, which makes a great effort to environmental protection.

    Taking a fee from drivers when traffic jams are heavy may is not the best way to control the traffic jam, but it actually brings some advantages for the citizens and decreases the degree of traffic jams in some way.

    June 19, 2020 at 12:18 pm

    Traffic jams are [jam is   ] worldwide problems[, which occurs   ] especially in big cities like [ such as  ]New York, Beijing, [ and  ]Tokyo, and so on. So[ As such, I agree with the proposed policy of  ] taking a charge from drivers in a [ during  ]busy time [ since this practice  ]has benefits for city transportation, because this policy could improve city traffic[ transportation   ] efficiency. Moreover, It may [  and ]decrease traffic [  noise ]pollution and noise.

    Firstly, taking a fee can decrease cars on the streets during rush hours. Imagine what people do when the traffic is heavy and they need to pay for using the streets. At this moment[ Imagine this scenario  ], they may change their schedules and choose a free period[to use the road when it is free   ]. For instance, a girl wants to have a date or hang out with her friends, and she prefers to select after 2 p.m. which traffic is moving quickly at this period. Moreover,

    [Additionally,   ]some people are unwilling to pay an extra fee, which may stimulate them to [ some people would  ]use public transportation. It [,which could   ]also helps to decrease the number of private cats on the streets.

    Secondly, as I mentioned above, people will lower the frequency of using cars and take public transportation. That may help to reduce traffic noise and [ other forms of  ]pollution because the noise of hoots is also cut when the traffic jams are reduced. Let alone there are abundant people would take public transportation, traffic pollution will also decrease. Furthermore, some people buy a car out of convenience. If [ if  ]using their[ a  ] car in rush time will pay [ involves  ]an extra fee, a lot of people do not continue [are unlikely   ]to purchase a car. And fewer private cars means less use of [ , thereby saving  ]oil[and better protecting the environment.   ], which makes a great effort to environmental protection.

    [  In light of my discussion noted above, collecting ]Taking a fee from drivers when traffic jams are heavy may is not [be  ]the best/[optimal  ] way to control the traffic jam, but it [  this measure can ]actually brings [ bing ]some advantages for the[ to ] citizens and [ perhaps would ]decreases the degree of [alleviate  ]traffic jams in some way[to some extent  ].