The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.

  • zhaojiaoyan
    University: 河北农业大学
    Nationality: China
    April 18, 2020 at 2:10 pm

    The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.

    The graph illustrates changes in the amount of beef, lamb, chicken and fish consumed in a particular European country between 1979 and 2004.

    In 1979, beef consumption reached the highest point, with about 225 grams consumed per person per week. Lamb and chicken were consumed in similar quantities about 150 grams. However, fish consumption hit a low of 50 grams.

    Yet, the consumption of beef and lamb dropped sharply to nearly 100 grams respectively. There had been a stable pattern at 50 grams in the consumption of fish.

    In contrast, the consumption of chicken showed an upward trend,transcending that of lamb in 1980 and that of beef in 1989. Then this figure rose to a peak of about 250 in 2004.

    Overall, the line graph clearly showed the consumption of chicken rised rapidly while other foods decreased during this period.

    April 20, 2020 at 11:42 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Many grammatical errors.
    2. About 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.