Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The more money a person has, the more he or she should give away to the charities.
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July 22, 2020 at 2:22 pm
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The more money a person has, the more he or she should give away to charities.
It’s hard to deny that the rich often donate to some charities, and such a fact may mislead impressionable people to generate an opinion that people with more money should give away to charities. However, such a statement suffers from logical and factual fallacies, and it should be examined meticulously. Therefore, I tend to claims that the wealthy should invest in children’s education and expanding their industries instead of donating.
To begin with, people with the growing money tend to spend the majority of money in their children’s education, because nothing that could take the advantage is superior to education. Children could acquire advanced education and expand their horizons when their parents strongly concern about their learning process and invest much money in it. For instance, my friends Mike who grew up in a self-starter family and graduated from an outstanding university in the United States get a decent job. He told me his parents gave sufficient funding to support him to complete the whole graduation. It is demanding for him to obtain such achievement without support from his family. Therefore，people tend to be eager to their children’s education and contribute to them achieve their dream rather than donating.
Furthermore, continually, expanding industries are most essential for people with more money since people who always start from scratch understand it is not easier to make money. Most of the wealthy consider that it is inefficient to spend money on charities, such as donating to the homeless, helping strangers, because of a majority of events that indicate most proportion of charity organizations in current society occur fraudulent conducts. Take Yun Ma who is one of the wealthy people as an example. Comparing with putting the money to his own industry development, even Yun donates less money on charity, because he keeps up the mind in donating that is not useful for the homeless.
In a nutshell, it is not an unwise idea that people with more money should spend their money on efficiency aspects such as children’s education and expanding personal industries rather than donating on some surficial charities.
July 23, 2020 at 9:39 pmScore: ungraded
Issues:
- Verbose, write more concise sentences and eliminate unnecessary words;
- Article errors;
- Subject-verb agreement errors;
- About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
July 24, 2020 at 8:44 amWhat we are discussing is the topic about whether there is a general tendency that people who have more money are supposed to donate or not. Some sociologists contend that people with more money should allocate them to efficient projects like investing children’s education so forth instead of donating that is not useful. As for me, giving away to the charity is beneficial to the donor and the donee, especially in the aspect of social status and living standards.
To begin with, from the perspective of donors with more money, it is easier to raise their social status dramatically by giving away the charity. Currently, the authority motivates the people especially the fresh middle-stages to donate to the charity, which could create well being and harmonious social atmosphere. Moreover, the plethora of welfare and occupation that the government provides support people to give away the charity. Take Hua Zhang who is my high school president as an example. With the increasing revenues of him, Hua distributed a large proportion of salary to giving away the homeless, which allowed him to award by the local authority. Eventually, Hua became the NPC member honorably by voting from the public and the government.
Furthermore, from the perspective of the donee, their living standard could enhance dramatically since sufficient subsidy could help them to sustain and to prevent from daily stress. The comprehensive charity provides financial aids, residences, certificated organ foods so forth to the homeless. Embracing this welfare and benefits, the homeless’ living standard would improve and raise the awareness of reciprocal. For instance, John, who grew up in an impecunious family, graduated from Peking University and now works in an outstanding corporation. He told me that what considerable change he encountered derived from the wealthy donated and the charity supported. The available for him to travel, support the homeless, and do some projects that beyond he used to expect. If without support from the charity, John could not acquire such unexpectable achievement and think about how reciprocate to society.
All in all, the more money a person has, the more he or she is supposed to give away to charities. It is beneficial for both donators and donees.
July 24, 2020 at 8:51 pmScore: 48.3
Issues:
- About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- About 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
- Lengthy paragraphs. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words.
- Lots of verbose sentences.
- Many pronouns (i.e. them) are unclear. Replace unclear pronouns with clear nouns.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
