The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.

  • icepear
    University: USTC
    Nationality: China
    March 14, 2020 at 2:29 pm

    The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.

    Thanks to the development of information technology, nowadays we can easily hear various opinions from others through the Internet. And of course, the opinions from celebrities are the predominant part of all. There is a public discussion today about whether those views are more important to younger people than they are to the older. In my perspective, I think the opinions of celebrities have more influence on younger people.

    Firstly, young people are more willing to absorb new opinions. They haven’t built their values and the perception of the society. So they are very curious about others’ views of the world. It is interesting for them to exchange their ideas about a certain event, and they can always accept others’ views. As a result, the opinions of famous entertainers and athletes, can be highly influential to youngests. On the contrary, older people have more experience than younger people. And they have formed their values which are hard to change. So, the influence of the opinions of celebrities is much less.

    Secondly, people are more willing to adopt the opinions from their peers. This is reflected in many aspects of our daily life. For example, teenagers usually contradict against their parents. It is not because the kids are unable to adopt their parents’ views but they are just reluctant to obey their parents. Another example is that old people refuse to absorb new opinions because of the outdated concepts they persist. Now, a fact is that most of celebrities are young people, such as famous entertainers and athletes. Undoubtedly, young people are more affected by the celebrities.

    Finally, we come to the conclusion. Because young people feel free to absorb different opinions, and they are more willing to take in the opinions from their peers, celebrities can have more influence on them. As for the old, they are reluctant to accept new ideas because the out-of-date notions have entrenched in their minds.

    March 17, 2020 at 5:04 pm

    Score: ungraded

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    icepear
    University: USTC
    Nationality: China
    March 19, 2020 at 1:58 pm

    Thanks to the development of information technology, nowadays we can easily hear various opinions from others through the Internet. And of course, the views from celebrities are the predominant part of all. There is a public discussion today about whether those views are more important to younger people than they are to the older. In my perspective, the opinions of celebrities have more influence on younger people.

    Firstly, young people are more willing to absorb new opinions. They haven’t built their values and the perception of society. So they are very curious about others’ views of the world. For them, exchanging understandings of events is interesting, and they can always accept others’ ideas. As a result, the opinions of famous entertainers and athletes can be highly influential to youngsters. However, older people have more experience than younger people. Thus, they have formed their values which are hard to change. The influence of celebrities is much less for them.

    Secondly, people are more willing to adopt opinions from their peers. This is reflected in many aspects of our daily life. For example, teenagers usually contradict their parents. It is not because the kids are unable to adopt their parents’ views but they are just reluctant to obey their parents. Another example is that old people refuse to absorb new opinions because of the outdated concepts they persist. Now, a fact is that most celebrities are young people, such as famous entertainers and athletes. Undoubtedly, young people are more affected by celebrities.

    In a word, because young people feel free to absorb different opinions, and they are more willing to take in the ideas of their peers, celebrities can have more influence on them. As for the old, they are reluctant to accept new ideas because the out-of-date notions have entrenched in their minds.

    March 24, 2020 at 2:36 am

    Score: 65.3

    Thanks to the development of information technology, nowadays we can easily hear various opinions from others through the Internet. And [unnecessary coordinating word  ]of course, the views from celebrities are the predominant part of all. There is a public discussion today about whether those views are more important to younger people than they are to the older. In my perspective, the opinions of celebrities have more influence on younger people.

    Firstly, young people are more willing to absorb new opinions. They haven’t built their values and the [ article error ]perception[ word form error ] of society. [  punctuation error concerning coordinating word]So they are very curious about others’ views of the world. For them, exchanging understandings of events is interesting, and they can always accept others’ ideas. As a result, the opinions of famous entertainers and athletes can be highly influential to youngsters. However, older people have more experience than younger people. Thus, they have formed their values which are hard to change. The influence of celebrities is much less for[ wrong preposition ] them.

    Secondly, people are more willing to adopt opinions from their peers. This is reflected in many aspects of our daily life. For example, teenagers usually contradict[ incorrect word ] their parents. It is not because the kids are unable to adopt their parents’ views[punctuation error  ] but they are just reluctant to obey their parents. Another example is that old people refuse to absorb new opinions because of the outdated concepts they persist. Now, a fact is that most celebrities are young people, such as famous entertainers and athletes[repetition  ]. Undoubtedly, young people are more affected[passive  ] by celebrities.

    In a word, because young people feel free to absorb different opinions, and they are more willing to take in the ideas of their peers, celebrities can have more influence on them. As for the old, they are reluctant to accept new ideas because the out-of-date notions have entrenched in their minds.

    March 24, 2020 at 2:56 am

    Final revision.