The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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September 8, 2020 at 3:32 am
The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
With the accelerating development of the modern society, more and more people are considering whether nowadays young people should follow the old rules that preserved for many years. Some people think it is a good tradition because the young can follow the experience from the old which can help build them to be a nice person. However, I hold the negative view on such opinion and highly support that the youth should not be constrained by those rules and explore the new road on their own.
Depending on my own experience, as a senior student majored in microelectronics, I have a very busy life and I am so desired to escape the restrains that my parents add to me. For most of parents including mine, they expect their child to devote all time in studying and should never be distracted by other entertainment. But my life is busy enough. Every day, I need to deal with a huge amount of experiment reports and class homework, tracing and collecting lab data also cost me plenty of time. Even in my spare time, I need to do some internships. All in all, I spend most of my time on studying and working, however, I do want some free time to go out with my friends and have fun in the beach or climb the mountains.
Another reason that I argue against the old society rules lie on the quick development of the modern society. Many old rules are just suitable for their ages, not good for us youth to follow. Take my uncle as an example, when he studied in school, his parents encouraged him to learn more physical technology and ignore those society materials which has no use for him to work in a factory. But as time going by, modern society need more and more people with society or humanity knowledge. In this way, old rules cannot apply to the new generation.
In conclusion, I advocate nowadays young people to break the chain caused by old rules and discover the new road leading their life to a new future.
September 8, 2020 at 7:04 pmScore: ungraded
Issues:
- Many sentences make no sense. Use your words to write.
- About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- Wordy sentences.
- Many unclear pronouns.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
September 9, 2020 at 7:56 am[First revised version]
Many people are considering whether nowadays young people should follow the old rules that are preserved for many years. Some of them recognize it as a good tradition that the young can follow the experience from the old, which contributes to building young people to be nice people. However, I hold a negative view on this opinion and support that the youth should not be constrained by old rules and should explore the new road on their own.
Depending on my own experience, as a senior student majoring in microelectronics, I have a very busy life. I am so desired to escape the restraints that my parents add to me. Most parents including mine, expect their child to devote all time to studying and should never be distracted by any entertainment. According to their wishes, every day I deal with tons of experiment reports and class homework. Tracing and collecting lab data also cost me plenty of time. Even in my spare time, I need to do some internships. I spend most of my time studying and working and entertainment has become a dream for me. Therefore, I do want some free time to go out with my friends and have fun on the beach or climb the mountains.
Another reason that I argue against the old society rules lies in the quick development of modern society. Many old rules are just suitable for their ages, not good for the new generation to follow. Take my uncle as an example: when he studied in school, his parents encouraged him to learn more physical and mathematical technology while ignoring those society materials which has no use for him to work in a factory. But as time goes by, modern society needs more and more people with society or human knowledge. In this way, old rules cannot work on the new generation.
In conclusion, I advocate young people break the chain caused by old rules and discover the new road leading their life to a new future.
September 10, 2020 at 2:07 amMany people are considering whether nowadays young people should follow the old rules that are preserved for many years.[Irrelevant ] Some of them[ unclear pronoun ] recognize it [ unclear pronoun ]as a good tradition that the young can follow the experience from the old[wordy/grammatical error/unclear ], which [ unclear ]contributes to building young people to be nice people[ unclear ]. However, I hold a negative view on this opinion[unclear ] and support that the youth should not be constrained by old rules and should explore[unparalelled ] the new road[unclear ] on[ /of ] their own.Depending on my own experience, as a senior student majoring in microelectronics, I have a very busy life. I am so desired to escape the restraints that my parents add to me. Most parents including mine, expect their child to devote all time to studying and should never be distracted by any entertainment. According to their wishes, every day I deal with tons of experiment reports and class homework. Tracing and collecting lab data also cost me plenty of time. Even in my spare time, I need to do some internships. I spend most of my time studying and working and entertainment has become a dream for me. Therefore, I do want some free time to go out with my friends and have fun on the beach or climb the mountains.
Another reason that I argue against the old society rules lies in the quick development of modern society. Many old rules are just suitable for their ages, not good for the new generation to follow. Take my uncle as an example: when he studied in school, his parents encouraged him to learn more physical and mathematical technology while ignoring those society materials which has no use for him to work in a factory. But as time goes by, modern society needs more and more people with society or human knowledge. In this way, old rules cannot work on the new generation.
In conclusion, I advocate young people break the chain caused by old rules and discover the new road leading their life to a new future.
