TPO 54 – The Salton Sea in California – Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they respond to the specific concerns presented in the reading passage.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing TPO 54 – The Salton Sea in California – Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they respond to the specific concerns presented in the reading passage.

  • timwang
    University: McGill University
    Nationality: Chinese
    January 6, 2021 at 9:16 pm

    The Salton Sea in California – Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they respond to the specific concerns presented in the reading passage.

    The Slaton Sea in California is facing a problem that the salinity is continuously increasing, and the reading passage has proposed three solutions. However, the professor in the lecture does not agree with the idea that the given solutions are realistic and practical.

    Firstly, it is said that desalination facilities can be used to directly remove the salt from the lake by using pumps and sending cooled water backed to the lake. Although the professor agrees that this method can decrease the salinity of the lake, she points out that serious problems can be induced by doing so. More specifically, the solid materials left behind after evaporation can pose a potential health threat. If the toxic chemicals are swept by the wind into the air, people may breathe it into their lumps, which can be very harmful to their health.

    Secondly, diluting salt level with the water from the ocean is proposed to be a valid solution. Even though the professor agrees that it may help solve the salinity problem, she argues that this solution requires pipes to be constructed, and the local government may not have the resources to pay them. She thinks this can be a significant problem since these pipes can be very long and need lots of piping materials. As a result, the cost of constructing such pipes can be very expensive.

    Moreover, it is proposed that building walls to divide lakes into several sections and using the freshwater from small reivers to reduce the salinity of large sections can also solve the salinity problem. Nevertheless, the professor does not believe it can work for a long time. When earthquakes take place, these walls can easily collapse, and the freshwater will mix back to the small rivers.

    In general, the professor thinks that the three proposed solutions are impractical and unrealistic based on the reasons mentioned above.

    January 10, 2021 at 2:40 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them.
    2. About 35% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. 

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    timwang
    University: McGill University
    Nationality: Chinese
    January 11, 2021 at 4:36 am

    The Slaton Sea in California is facing a problem that the salinity is continuously increasing, and the reading passage has proposed three solutions. However, the professor disagrees with the idea that the given solutions are realistic and practical.

    To begin with, according to the reading passage, desalination facilities can remove the salt from the lake by using pumps and sending cooled water back to the lake. Although the professor agrees that it can decrease the salinity of the lake, she points out that serious problems can arise by doing so. More specifically, the solid materials left behind after evaporation can pose a potential health threat. If the wind sweeps some of these toxic chemicals into the air, and people breathe them in, it will be very harmful to their health.

    Besides, diluting salt level with the water from the ocean is said to be a valid solution. Even though the professor agrees that it may help solve the salinity problem, she does not think it is a viable solution in reality. The main reason is that this method requires constructing pipes, and the local government may not have the resources to pay them. She argues that this can be a significant problem, given that these pipes can be very long and need lots of piping materials. As a result, the cost of constructing such pipes can be very expensive.

    Moreover, the reading passage proposes to build walls to divide lakes into several sections and use the freshwater from small rivers to reduce the salinity of the large sections. Yet, the professor does not believe it can work for a long time. When earthquakes occur, these walls may collapse, and the freshwater will mix back to the small rivers.

    In general, the professor thinks the three proposed solutions are impractical and unrealistic because of the reasons mentioned above.

    January 15, 2021 at 8:38 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 55% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them.
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    timwang
    University: McGill University
    Nationality: Chinese
    January 26, 2021 at 4:40 am

    This reading passage has proposed three solutions to the problem of increasing salinity in the Slaton Sea in California. However, the professor does not consider the given solutions as realistic and practical.

    To begin with, from the reading passage, special desalination facilities can remove the salt from the lake through evaporation. Although the professor agrees it can decrease the salinity, she points out that serious problems can arise by doing so. More specifically, the solid materials left behind can pose a potential health threat. If the wind sweeps some of these toxic chemicals into the air, people may breathe them in and have health problems.

    Besides, the reading passage considers diluting salt level with the water from the ocean as another valid solution. Even though the professor agrees it may help solve the salinity problem, she does not think it is a viable solution in reality. The main reason is that this method requires constructing pipes. However, the local government may not have the resources to pay them. She argues that this can be a significant problem, given that these pipes can be very long and need lots of piping materials. As a result, the cost of constructing such pipes can be very expensive.

    Moreover, the reading passage proposes to build walls to divide lakes into several sections. The freshwater from small rivers can help reduce the salinity of the large sections. Yet, the professor does not believe it can work for a long time. When earthquakes occur, these walls may collapse. As a result, the freshwater will mix back to the small rivers.

    In a nutshell, the professor thinks the three proposed solutions are impractical and unrealistic. Her reasons are summarized and explained above.

    January 26, 2021 at 9:41 pm

    This reading passage has proposed [proposes  ] three solutions to the problem of increasing salinity in the Slaton Sea in California. However, the professor does not consider the given solutions as [being  ]realistic and practical.

    To begin with, from [According to  ]the reading passage, special desalination facilities can remove the salt from the lake through evaporation. Although the professor agrees it[ unclear ] can decrease the [article error  ]salinity, she points out that serious problems can arise by doing so. More specifically[ For instance ], the solid materials left behind can pose a potential health threat. If the[article error  ] wind sweeps[grammatical error  ] some of (these)[new idea introduced abruptly  ] toxic chemicals into the air, people may [grammatical error  ]breathe them in and have health problems.

    Besides, the reading passage considers diluting [article error  ]salt level with the water from the ocean as another valid[wrong word  ] solution. Even though the professor agrees it[unclear  ] may help solve the salinity problem, she does not think it[unclear  ] is a viable solution in reality. The main reason is that [since  ] this method requires constructing pipes. (However, the local government may not have the resources to pay them.)[confusing/unclear  ] She[ The professor further ] argues that this[unclear pronoun  ] can be a significant problem, (given that these pipes can be very long and need lots of piping materials)[ wordy ]. As a result, the cost of constructing such pipes can be very expensive[wrong word/ cost-expensive?  ].

    Moreover, the reading passage proposes to build walls [ as a means ]to divide lakes into several sections. [ missing a transitional word ]The freshwater from small rivers can help reduce the [ article error ]salinity of the large sections. Yet, the professor does not believe it[ unclear pronoun ] can work for a long time. When earthquakes occur, these walls may collapse. As a result, the freshwater will mix[  wrong word] back to the small rivers.

    In a nutshell, the professor thinks the three proposed solutions are impractical and unrealistic. Her reasons are summarized and explained above[write more creatively  ].

    timwang
    University: McGill University
    Nationality: Chinese
    March 15, 2021 at 2:16 am

    This reading passage proposes three solutions to the problem of increasing salinity in the Slaton Sea in California. However, the professor does not consider the given solutions as being realistic and practical.

    According to the reading passage, special desalination facilities can remove salt from the lake through evaporation. Although the professor agrees that its salinity will decrease, she points out that serious problems can arise by doing so. For instance, the solid materials left behind can pose a potential health threat. If the wind swept some of the toxic chemicals into the air, people might breathe them in and have health problems.

    Besides, the reading passage considers diluting the salt level with the water from the ocean as another applicable solution. Even though the professor agrees that this method may alleviate the salinity problem, she does not think that it is a viable solution since this method requires constructing pipes. However, the local government may not have enough resources to pay them. The professor further argues that it can be a significant problem, given that these long pipes need lots of piping materials. As a result, the cost of constructing such pipes can be prohibitive.

    Moreover, the reading passage proposes to build walls as a means to divide lakes into several sections. Thereby, the freshwater from small rivers can mitigate the salinity of the large sections. Yet, the professor does not believe that such a solution can work for a long time. When earthquakes occur, these walls may collapse. As a result, the freshwater will mix with the high-salinity sections again.

    In a nutshell, the professor thinks the three proposed solutions are impractical and unrealistic given the reasons above.

    March 17, 2021 at 7:38 pm

    This reading passage proposes three solutions to the problem of[ impede ] increasing salinity in the[article error  ] Slaton Sea in California. However, the professor (does not)[avoid using NOT  ] consider the[ realistic and practical aspects of the ] given solutions as being realistic and practical.

    According to the reading passage, special desalination facilities can remove salt from the lake through evaporation. Although the professor agrees that its[ unclear pronoun ] salinity will decrease, she points out that serious problems can arise by doing so[ two clauses lack logical connection ]. For instance, the solid materials left behind can pose a potential health threat. If the[ article error ] wind swept some of the toxic chemicals into the air, people might breathe them in and have health problems.

    Besides, the reading passage considers diluting the salt level (with the water from the ocean)[ wordy ] as another[ /an alternative ] applicable solution. Even though the professor agrees that this method may alleviate the salinity problem, she does not think that it is a viable solution since this method requires (constructing pipes)[unclear/word form error  ]. However, the local government may not have (enough resources)[unclear  ] to pay them[unclear pronoun  ]. The professor further argues that it[ unclear pronoun ] can be a significant problem, given that these long pipes need (lots of)[ informal ] piping materials. As a result, the cost of constructing such pipes can be prohibitive.

    Moreover, the reading passage proposes to build walls as a means to divide lakes into several sections. Thereby, the freshwater from small rivers can mitigate the salinity of the large sections. Yet, the professor does not believe that such a solution can work for a long time. When earthquakes occur, these walls may collapse. As a result, the freshwater will mix with the high-salinity sections again.

    In a nutshell, [ In light of the reasons noted above, ]the professor thinks the three proposed solutions are[remain  ] impractical and unrealistic given the reasons above.

    timwang
    University: McGill University
    Nationality: Chinese
    April 6, 2021 at 5:01 am

    This reading passage proposes three solutions to impede the increasing salinity in Salton Sea in California. However, the professor doubts the realistic and practical aspects of the given solutions.

    According to the reading passage, special desalination facilities can remove salt from the lake through evaporation. Although the professor agrees that the salinity will decrease, she points out that serious problems can arise. For instance, the solid materials left behind can pose a potential health threat. If wind swept some of the toxic chemicals into the air, people might breathe them in and have health problems.

    Besides, the reading passage considers diluting the salt level as an alternative solution. Even though the professor agrees that this method may alleviate the salinity problem, she does not think that it is a viable solution since this method requires very long pipes. However, the local government may not have enough fiscal budgets to buy these pipes. The professor further argues that a significant problem can arise, given that these long pipes need substantial construction materials. As a result, the cost of constructing such pipes can be prohibitive.

    Moreover, the reading passage proposes to build walls as a means to divide lakes into several sections. Thereby, freshwater from small rivers can mitigate the salinity of the large sections. Yet, the professor does not believe that such a solution can work for a long time. When earthquakes occur, these walls may collapse. As a result, the freshwater will mix with the high-salinity sections again.

    In light of the reasons noted above, the professor thinks the three proposed solutions remain impractical and unrealistic.

    April 7, 2021 at 2:32 am

    This reading passage proposes three solutions to the problem of increasing salinity in the Slaton Sea in California. However, the professor does not consider the given solutions as being (realistic and practical)[ repetition ].

    According to the reading passage, special desalination facilities can remove salt from the lake through evaporation. Although the professor agrees that its [ the lake ]salinity will decrease, she points out that serious problems can arise (by doing so)[ unclear ]. For instance, the solid materials left behind can pose a potential health threat. If the wind swept some of the toxic chemicals into the air, people might[would  ] breathe them in and have health problems.

    Besides, the reading passage considers diluting the salt level with the water from the ocean as another applicable solution. Even though the professor agrees that this method may alleviate the salinity problem, she does not think that it is a viable solution since this method requires constructing pipes. However, [since   ]the local government may not have enough resources to pay them[unclear pronoun  ]. The professor further argues that it[ unclear pronoun ] can be a significant problem, given that these long pipes need lots of piping materials. As a result, the cost of constructing such pipes can be prohibitive.

    Moreover, the reading passage proposes to build walls as a means to divide lakes into several sections. Thereby, the freshwater from small rivers can mitigate the salinity of the large sections. Yet, the professor does not believe that such a solution can work for a long time. When earthquakes occur, these walls may collapse. As a result, the freshwater will [ likely ] mix with the high-salinity sections again.

    In a nutshell, the professor thinks the three proposed solutions are (impractical and unrealistic)[repetition  ] given the reasons above.

    April 7, 2021 at 2:49 am

    Final revision.