The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority.

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  • Redeem
    University: Southwestern University of Finance and Economics
    Nationality: China
    July 13, 2020 at 1:22 pm

    The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority.

    As critical thinking becoming a more and more essential topic within all levels of education, it has also gradually formed an environment of skepticism. In my opinion, however, the pursuit of questioning should by appropriately limited. An unlimited advocation of questioning will do no good to the society, even has a long-term negative effect.

    To illustrate this point, consider the variety of definitions of the well-being of a society. It is without doubt that the well-being of a society can be affected by a wide range of characteristics, including its economic, cultural and educational environment, etc. It is rather imprudent and one-sided to draw the conclusion that the well-being of a society will be enhanced along with wide-spread questioning towards authority. Frankly speaking, as the general will of the society is always the steady improvement of living standard, the statement that the whole society will be benefited from simple skepticism is fallacious.

    Furthermore, with the continuously increased sensationalism by more and more main stream social medias, normal people are becoming even more vulnerable and emotional, easily controlled by the so-called truth, and always prefer to trust the fact that they attained from people around them, rather than the authority. Contrary to the view expressed in the statement, this circumstance cannot lead to the progress of a society, however only brings the opposite side. Taking the COVID-19 as an example, it is irrefutable that, during this despairing period of time, there are thousands of medical authorities who have been trying their best to save our lives and also teach us how to protect ourselves and our family members from this horrible disease. There are, however, always existing some people who refused to listen to any authoritative advice or even regulations, causing endemic or even wider range of emergency.

    To conclude, skepticism is certainly one of the most fundamental characteristic of human being. But the well-being of a society, however, cannot be enhanced simply by pursuing it and ignoring the authority imprudently.

    July 16, 2020 at 2:07 am

    Score: 33.9

    Issues:

    1. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Reduce the percentage. 
    2. About 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.