The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that are suitable and livable for people in those times. What problems will this cause today and what can be done to solve them?

Score: ungraded

Issues:

1. About 30% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );
2. Punctuation error with use of coordinating conjunctions;
3. Redundant words, phrases and sentences (i.e., Ancient towns and cities may cause many problems today);
4. Lots of logically incomplete sentences.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

There are [In  ] many cities[around the world, ] which have a lot of old buildings and infrastructures [constructed a century ago coexist with their modern siblings/counterparts ] . They are not suitable for people to live in modern society,[ Since many of them remain uninhabitable, ] so [ I believe ] they require either protection or reconstruction[ /restoration ] .

One problem is, [grammatical error  ] the cost of maintaining the old towns may pose a financial burden on governments. Most of the [ aged ] architecture in old cities is made of wood which is easy to corrode[ /rot ] . It[unclear pronoun  ] takes (lots of)[informal  ] time and cost to preserve them well[ redundant word ] . Besides, some cultural sites with historical significance (used traditional methods to build up)[ confusion ] . It[ unclear pronoun ] needs the [article error  ] advice of professional architectures[word form  ] and (has a high requirement of workers.)[unclear  ] (These are at great cost)[ unclear ] hence give pressure to public finance.

Another problem caused by the[ article error ] old cities is that citizens[/residents  ] [in those areas  ] find it hard to enjoy convenient and [,  ] modern living conditions[zero-conditional  ] in those areas. For example, due [Due  ] to the[ article error ] outdated urban planning and building skills, old buildings (do not have)[avoid using NOT  ] a complete infrastructure system like new buildings do. Many of them have an unqualified drainage system[punctuation error with coordinating conjunction  ] and[choose a logically clear coordinating conjunction  ] people even need to go to [article error  ] public lavatory. Without a decent quality of life, the[ article error ] city [ inconsistency in word form ] will find it difficult to attract talents to stay.

There are two ways to deal with the problem. For some historic buildings endowed with beauty[/aesthetic  ] and cultural value[ word form error ] , they can be planned as tourist attractions to make profits. The tourism revenue can not only stimulate the development of[ article error ] tourist[word form error  ] industry [punctuation error  ] (as well)  as make up the cost of maintenance, but also protect the traditional culture. For buidings with little cultural value, they can be torn down to make way for the construction of [ constructing ] new buildings to suit[/serve  ] modern people’s need [/needs  ] .

It is true that old towns which are not livable for modern times are costly and troublesome to deal with. But with the effort [ as a result ] of maintaining or rebuilding [ efforts ] , [perhaps  ] we can [significantly  ] raise the economic value of historical buildings.