The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that are suitable and livable for people in those times. What problems will this cause today and what can be done to solve them?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that are suitable and livable for people in those times. What problems will this cause today and what can be done to solve them?

  • NicoleAi
    University: Renmin University of China
    Nationality: China
    February 24, 2021 at 4:38 am

    The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that are suitable and livable for people in those times. What problems will this cause today and what can be done to solve them?

    There are many cities which have a lot of old buildings and infrustractures. They are not suitable for people to live in modern society so we should either protect or reconstruct them.

    Ancient towns and cities may cause many problems today. First of all, the cost of maitaining may pose a financial burden on governments. Most of the architecture in old cities is made of wood which is easy to be corroded. It takes lots of time and cost to preserve them well. Besides, some cultural sites with historical significance are built up with traditional methods. It needs the advice of professional architectures and has a high requirement of workers. These are in great cost which give pressure to public finance.

    Another problem caused by the old cities is that citizens find it hard to enjoy convenient and modern living conditions in those areas. For example, due to the outdated urban planning and building skills, old buildings do not have a complete infrustracture system like new buildings do. Many of them have an unqualified drainage system and people even need to go to shared lavatory. Without a decent quality of life, the city will find it difficult to attract talents to stay.

    There are two ways to deal with the problem. For some historic buidings endowed with beauty and cultural value, they can be planned as tourist attractions to make profits. The tickets revenue can not only stimulate the development of tourist industry as well as make up the cost of maintenance, but also protect the traditional culture. For other buidings with little cultural value, they can be pulled down to leave spaces for new buildings to suit the need of modern people.

    It is true that old towns which are not livable for modern times are costly and troublesome to deal with. But with the effort of maintaining or rebuilding, we can raise the economy value of historical buildings.

    NicoleAi
    University: Renmin University of China
    Nationality: China
    February 24, 2021 at 4:46 am

    I’m sorry, “libing” in paragraph 3 needs to be changed to “living”. ^_^

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 24, 2021 at 8:25 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );
    2. Punctuation error with use of coordinating conjunctions;
    3. Redundant words, phrases and sentences (i.e., Ancient towns and cities may cause many problems today);
    4. Lots of logically incomplete sentences.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    NicoleAi
    University: Renmin University of China
    Nationality: China
    February 25, 2021 at 9:38 am

    There are many cities which have a lot of old buildings and infrastructures. They are not suitable for people to live in modern society, so they require either protection or reconstruction.

    One problem is, the cost of maintaining the old towns may pose a financial burden on governments. Most of the architecture in old cities is made of wood which is easy to corrode. It takes lots of time and cost to preserve them well. Besides, some cultural sites with historical significance used traditional methods to build up. It needs the advice of professional architectures and has a high requirement of workers. These are at great cost hence give pressure to public finance.

    Another problem caused by the old cities is that citizens find it hard to enjoy convenient and modern living conditions in those areas. For example, due to the outdated urban planning and building skills, old buildings do not have a complete infrastructure system like new buildings do. Many of them have an unqualified drainage system and people even need to go to public lavatory. Without a decent quality of life, the city will find it difficult to attract talents to stay.

    There are two ways to deal with the problem. For some historic buildings endowed with beauty and cultural value, they can be planned as tourist attractions to make profits. The tourism revenue can not only stimulate the development of tourist industry as well as make up the cost of maintenance, but also protect the traditional culture. For buidings with little cultural value, they can be torn down to make way for the construction of new buildings to suit modern people’s need.

    It is true that old towns which are not livable for modern times are costly and troublesome to deal with. But with the effort of maintaining or rebuilding, we can raise the economic value of historical buildings.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 25, 2021 at 7:41 pm

    There are [In  ] many cities[around the world, ] which have a lot of old buildings and infrastructures [constructed a century ago coexist with their modern siblings/counterparts ] . They are not suitable for people to live in modern society,[ Since many of them remain uninhabitable, ] so [ I believe ] they require either protection or reconstruction[ /restoration ] .

    One problem is, [grammatical error  ] the cost of maintaining the old towns may pose a financial burden on governments. Most of the [ aged ] architecture in old cities is made of wood which is easy to corrode[ /rot ] . It[unclear pronoun  ] takes (lots of)[informal  ] time and cost to preserve them well[ redundant word ] . Besides, some cultural sites with historical significance (used traditional methods to build up)[ confusion ] . It[ unclear pronoun ] needs the [article error  ] advice of professional architectures[word form  ] and (has a high requirement of workers.)[unclear  ] (These are at great cost)[ unclear ] hence give pressure to public finance.

    Another problem caused by the[ article error ] old cities is that citizens[/residents  ] [in those areas  ] find it hard to enjoy convenient and [,  ] modern living conditions[zero-conditional  ] in those areas. For example, due [Due  ] to the[ article error ] outdated urban planning and building skills, old buildings (do not have)[avoid using NOT  ] a complete infrastructure system like new buildings do. Many of them have an unqualified drainage system[punctuation error with coordinating conjunction  ] and[choose a logically clear coordinating conjunction  ] people even need to go to [article error  ] public lavatory. Without a decent quality of life, the[ article error ] city [ inconsistency in word form ] will find it difficult to attract talents to stay.

    There are two ways to deal with the problem. For some historic buildings endowed with beauty[/aesthetic  ] and cultural value[ word form error ] , they can be planned as tourist attractions to make profits. The tourism revenue can not only stimulate the development of[ article error ] tourist[word form error  ] industry [punctuation error  ] (as well)  as make up the cost of maintenance, but also protect the traditional culture. For buidings with little cultural value, they can be torn down to make way for the construction of [ constructing ] new buildings to suit[/serve  ] modern people’s need [/needs  ] .

    It is true that old towns which are not livable for modern times are costly and troublesome to deal with. But with the effort [ as a result ] of maintaining or rebuilding [ efforts ] , [perhaps  ] we can [significantly  ] raise the economic value of historical buildings.

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