There are a variety of things happening in the world every day, but most of the things that happens are uncorrelated with our life. Though those things seem like that they would not affect our daily life, I still think it is essential to know about events happening around the world.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing There are a variety of things happening in the world every day, but most of the things that happens are uncorrelated with our life. Though those things seem like that they would not affect our daily life, I still think it is essential to know about events happening around the world.

  • chilam
    University: CUHK
    Nationality: China
    October 7, 2020 at 3:25 pm

    There are a variety of things happening in the world every day, but most of the things that happen are uncorrelated with our life. Though those things seem like they would not affect our daily life, I still think it is essential to know about events happening around the world.

    To begin with, learning the events around the world can let us learn from other people’s experience. Some people may think that one person should only focus on himself/herself, and it is unnecessary to pay too much attention on other people’s life. However, by observing other people’s decision and experience, we actually can gain many reflections from them. If you have observed that there are so many people in the world have made a same mistake for several times, though you may not run into the situation like that, you can still bear in mind to remind yourself in case of that one day you will face the same situation. At that time, you have learned from others’ experience and can avoid making mistakes like other people.

    Moreover, learning the events around the world can give you different thoughts to look at one thing and make yourself more knowledgable. There are a lot of things happens around us which seems too far away from our life. For example, if you are a university student that major in mathematics, and all your interests are about the science and you put your whole efforts on studying the mathematical formula, theorem and theory. The politics and economics may seems irrelevant to your major and interest, but through watching some politics and economics news to learn what changes have been taken place recently on those field, you may gain better understanding of the progress of global politics principle and economics environment. Also, by learning events and knowledge from other fields can gives you inspiration to consider things at a different angle and you may find an alternative way to solve the problem well in your area.

    All in all, from my perspective, learning is always a good way to fulfill ourselves and improve ourselves, no matter whether the events is relevant to us or not.

    October 13, 2020 at 4:31 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Lengthy paragraphs. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words.
    2. About 70% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    3. Singular versus plural errors
    4. Article errors