To attract good students, a university should spend a lot of money funding social activities

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing To attract good students, a university should spend a lot of money funding social activities

  • SusandeChinaCGB
    University: Soochow University
    Nationality: Chinese(Mainland)
    August 28, 2020 at 2:22 am

    In order to attract good students, a university should spend a lot of money funding social activities.

    Students nowadays get many more chances of exploring their dream schools than before. Facing this situation, universities and colleges need to pay more efforts in attracting talented students to get degrees in their campuses. Some people suggest sponsoring social activities is a good idea to increase schools’ popularity. But for me, I have an opposite view towards this suggestion for there are better uses of such funding to attract good students.

    To begin with, providing scholarships using the school funds helps attract prospective students. On one hand, universities or colleges have enough money to spend on this program and don’t need to worry about the lack of funding due to over-expensing. On the other hand, prospective students with the hope of getting degrees will more favor the schools since they don’t need to pay as much as before for the tuition. As a result, more students will be interested in the targeted schools, and universities can enroll students who fit them best.

    In addition, to attract excellent prospective students, spending money inside the campus helps achieve the goal better. To be more specific, it is more suggestive for universities and colleges to renew campus infrastructures and recruit experienced professors and lecturers. By renewing the department buildings, libraries, cafeterias, and dormitories in the campus, students will study and take breaks with a better experience. As for the attendance of new knowledgeable faculties, they will offer high-quality for students and then help improve their academic performance.  In conclusion, using funds inside the campus actually helps attract students for a better learning and life experience.

    Admittedly, spending a lot of money funding social activities does bring benefits for local residents, especially those disadvantaged people. But with a purpose to attract talented students to attend the colleges and universities, it is better to spend money in providing scholarships and making changes inside the campus for they help relieve students’ economic burden and bring them an excellent learning and life experience.

    August 28, 2020 at 2:33 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 55% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. Article errors
    3. Preposition errors
    4. State your argument clearly in the introduction, why is there a better use of funds?

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    SusandeChinaCGB
    University: Soochow University
    Nationality: Chinese(Mainland)
    August 29, 2020 at 5:43 am

    Thank you so much for your hard work. I really appreciate that!

    August 29, 2020 at 9:16 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 55% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. Article errors
    3. Preposition errors
    4. State your argument clearly in the introduction, why is there a better use of funds?

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.