To increase economic growth, the government should neglect environmental concerns.

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  • ShippersForMe Participant
    Chloe
    University: DaLian Medical University
    Nationality: China
    August 7, 2020 at 3:37 am

    To increase economic growth, the government should neglect environmental concerns.

    With the gradually raised awareness of economic growth, some ecologists hold the view that we should just concentrate on economic growth because addressing environmental issues seems have nothing to do with economic improvement but waste time and money.

    I’m afraid that I can’t follow such a statement because a good environment acts as the cornerstone of economic prosperity, enhancing workers’ productivity, reducing the government’s financial burden on medical infrastructure and providing society with sustainable resources.
    Firstly, a good environment can increase workers’ efficiency.
    For example, when I type thousands of numbers into sheets, sitting on the chair the whole day, I feel exhausted. However, when I ride my bicycle back home seeing a lot of birds singing in trees and breathing the fresh air, I feel refreshed and can gather more courage to cope with the rest of the assignments arriving home. So for me, a good environment means high efficiency.
    Secondly, environmental pollution has increased financial burden for the country because the government has to spend more and more money on medical areas to solve diseases caused by pollution.
    For example, in recent years an increasing number of people have died of lung cancer because polluted air breathing into lung could harm lungs’ tissue. To solve this problem, the government invested a lot in developing new medicine to decrease morality. But if we can improve this situation by enhancing the equality of air then we don’t need to put the money into such research but to invest in other industries. So it is to say that improving the environment is also saving money for the country, thus promoting our national economic growth.
    Thirdly, carrying out environmental-friendly policy help our economy develop more stably and free us of source shortage.
    Above all, I contend that we should take environmental protection into account when enhancing the level of our national economy because a good environment equals to a good economy in the long term.

    TruckersForMe Participant
    Administrator
    August 7, 2020 at 8:21 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Wordy – remove unnecessary words and phrases
    2. Make your argument clear in the introduction
    3. Article errors
    4. Verb form errors
    5. Essay is poorly structured
    6. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    ShippersForMe Participant
    Chloe
    University: DaLian Medical University
    Nationality: China
    August 8, 2020 at 2:54 am

    The economic boom brought prosperity to society over the last few years, however, it also has a devastating effect on the environment. Then the question arises: Should we neglect the environmental issues when developing economy? Many contend that development is vital for meeting basic needs of people, which outweighs any environmental concerns. However, I disagree this view and believe the government should give precedence to protecting the environment. A good environment acts as the cornerstone of economic rise.

    First, a quality environment enhances workers’ efficiency and productivity.

    For example, the whole-day work often makes me exhausted and more error-prone.However, when I see birds singing in trees and breathe fresh air in the way home,I get refreshed. I can gather more courage to cope with the rest of the assignments arriving home. So for me, a gorgeous environment means high efficiency.

    In addition,improving environment reduces the government’s expenses in medical system.

    For instance, air pollution increases the number of people dying from respiratory disease.To decrease the morality, the government has to invest more money in developing more efficient medicines. But such costs can be avoided by improving environmental quality.So it is to say that improving the environment is also saving money , thus promoting our national economic growth.

    Third, the seemingly robust economic development, at the cost of environmental degradation, is unsustainable. Renewable resources such as water and wood, as well as non-renewable resources such as oil, gas and minerals are fundamental. Overly exploiting the resources for short-term success will definitely lead to irreparable damages and regrets.

    Above all, I contend that we should take environmental protection into account, which equals to boosting economy in the long term.

    TruckersForMe Participant
    Administrator
    August 11, 2020 at 3:37 am

    Score: 35.6

    Issues:

    1. Preposition errors
    2. Spacing after punctuation
    3. Article errors (missing “the” in several places
    4. Combine one-sentence paragraphs with other paragraphs
    5. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.