University spends money on dormitory

  • JasmineZihan
    University: Communication University of China
    Nationality: China
    April 3, 2019 at 2:21 am

    The university will spend money on dormitory to improve the life quality of students, which of the following do you think is the best way?

    -providing a room for quiet study;

    -building an exercise room;

    -providing entertainment place (watch film).

     

    TOEFL essay:

    The dormitory is a place where university students spend a lot of time. That explains why campus focuses on satisfying the students through improving the quality of the dormitory. Since the campus decided to make the dormitory better, I would like to support to build an exercise room.

    To begin with, an exercise room can help students strengthen their physical health. It is known to us all that university students are facing heavy study stress nowadays. Therefore it is necessary for them to do some sports in order to guarantee a good physical and mental condition. Some people may argue that every school has gyms, why do we put so much effort into building an exercise room in the dormitory? When students want to exercise after the gym is closed, a dormitory room is an alternative choice. And during winter, an indoor dormitory room will surely warmer than an outdoor stadium. Hence we can see an exercise room in the dormitory has several advantages like warmth and convenience.

    In addition, an exercise room provides a space for students to make friends and built relationships. Besides doing sports, we can also meet new people in the dormitory room. I used to practice dancing by myself in the corner of the exercise room of my dormitory. Until one day I noticed a girl dance following the music. I tried to invite her to practice with me and that was how our friendship began.

    The other two choices seem reasonable at first glance, but they have shortages after deep thought. There are many libraries and 24-hour coffee shops, students can easily find a quiet place to finish their assignment and prepare for the exams. There is no need to waste money on building a study room. As for the entertainment room, it will cause noises and influence the life quality of other students. After all, the dormitory is a place for rest.

    In a word, an exercise room will be the best plan for the school to build inside the dormitory. While it will also improve the satisfaction of the campus students.

    —————-

    Related, supportive articles can be found:

    April 7, 2019 at 2:34 pm

    Good results (6)

    The essay scores 60.5 in the test, which is considered ok to read. Good job!

    Passive voice: You’re using enough active voice. That’s great!

    Consecutive sentences: There is enough variety in your sentences. That’s great!

    Paragraph length: None of the paragraphs are too long. Great job!

    Sentence length: Great!

    Transition words: Well done!

    Best regards,

    Lin Qiu

     

     

    JasmineZihan
    University: Communication University of China
    Nationality: China
    April 8, 2019 at 2:27 am

    Fix the mistakes:

    The dormitory is a place where university students spend a lot of time. That explains why campus focuses on satisfying the students through improving the quality of the dormitory. Since the campus decided to make the dormitory better, I would like to support to build an exercise room.

    To begin with, an exercise room can help students strengthen their physical health. It is known to us all that university students are facing heavy study stress nowadays. Therefore it is necessary for them to do some sports in order to guarantee a good physical and mental condition. Some people may argue that every school has gyms, why do we put so much effort into building an exercise room in the dormitory? When students want to exercise after the gym is closed, a dormitory room is an alternative choice. And during winter, an indoor dormitory room will surely warmer than an outdoor stadium. Hence we can see an exercise room in the dormitory has several advantages like warmth and convenience.

    In addition, an exercise room provides a space for students to make friends and built relationships. Besides doing sports, we can also meet new people in the dormitory room. I used to practice dancing by myself in the corner of the exercise room of my dormitory. Until one day I noticed a girl dance following the music. I tried to invite her to practice with me and that was how our friendship began.

    The other two choices seem reasonable at first glance, but they have shortages after deep thought. There are many libraries and 24-hour coffee shops, students can easily find a quiet place to finish their assignment and prepare for the exams. There is no need to waste money on building a study room. As for the entertainment room, it will cause noises and influence the life quality of other students. After all, the dormitory is a place for rest.

    In a word, an exercise room will be the best plan for the school to build inside the dormitory. While it will also improve the satisfaction of the campus students.

    April 9, 2019 at 3:29 pm

    Hi, below is your edited essay.

    https://writersforme.com/20190408-edit/

    Best wishes.

    Lin Qiu

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