Visiting museums is the best way to learn about a country.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Visiting museums is the best way to learn about a country.

  • chnlqsray
    University: SCUT
    Nationality: Chinese
    February 13, 2020 at 5:35 am

    Visiting museums is the best way to learn about a country.

    First, visiting museums provides people abundant historical background of a country, which builds foreigners the most essential cutural background about a certain country. This also indicates that people, instead of wasting their time on internet researching, they get a chance to simply buy a ticket and absorb knowledge efficiently museums provide. For instance, when I first been to Japan five years ago, I was so confused that why Japanese buildings have numerous similarities with Chinese buildings. For curiosity, I also spent roughly one week doing researches online about this issue, but this information is not logical and lacks of evidence to support their opinions. See where this is headed? What I did is just simply bought a ticket to a museum of Japanese buildings and figured it out without any effort. With a chronologically narrative aspect in the mueseum, I easily understand the central information. Finally, I solved my confusion in an astonishingly efficient way. Hence, visiting museums really is the best way to learn about a country, from a foreigner’s point of view, especially.

    Second, museums not only provide evidence and information but also creates a wonderful opportunity to meet experienced experts to ask. Since some museums have services like museum tour guides, there is no doubt that those people hold expertise in the knowledge of the museums. To reinforce it, once my cousin was in a cultural museum in America. He barely understands English and can’t read anything in the museum. But, he hired a museum tour guide who can translate and explain that information accurately. After visiting the tour, my cousin shared his experience with me—“This tour really refresh my impression on America, I mean, I always thought this country has barely history in general, but, with the help of experts, I finally know that this country has not only history but also consider long one!” Therefore, if somebody wants to learn about a country, visiting museums is the best choice.

    February 13, 2020 at 5:39 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Nearly 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. More than 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert them into their active counterparts.
    3. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words.

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